tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5954604416278665691.post821127226319728632..comments2023-10-21T05:56:15.949-06:00Comments on Utah Savage: How I Became CrazyUtah Savagehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16385093247915560752noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5954604416278665691.post-61033197593111607932009-10-21T20:44:17.958-06:002009-10-21T20:44:17.958-06:00Anyone would be crazy after that upbringing...and ...Anyone would be crazy after that upbringing...and yet you took care of your mother in the end. I'm glad you came through it all - you may be bipolar but you have survived.Mauigirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15529827915262851910noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5954604416278665691.post-67343825998082144892009-10-21T16:50:03.703-06:002009-10-21T16:50:03.703-06:00As I get older, I'm no longer shocked by the a...As I get older, I'm no longer shocked by the awful things people do to others, particularly children, I'm more shocked by how they can do what they do, and live in such denial. <br /><br />As I explained, my mother is a hoarder. I'm now looking at how her choices affected my life, and it isn't pretty. Sad thing is, she'll never get help for her disease, but I fear having children that I pass on her disease to. Hoarding is a symptom of OCD, and her hoarding is why I can't stand to have "too much". I'd rather go without than have so much. I get claustrophobic if I don't clean out a closet... and I can't enjoy Christmas, because presents aren't about Christmas - they're about her disease and her needing to buy, buy, buy. They're not personal, in other words. <br /><br />One Christmas, the best Christmas in a long time, my father told her five gifts for each person, except the grandchildren... She was SO convinced we'd be so miserable. My sister was, to a point. I wasn't. It was the best year ever, but she thinks it was a bust. <br /><br />Neither one of us can be happy if the other is, I guess. <br /><br />They think I'm bipolar, though I'm not. They think this, b/c I can "be sweet one minute and angry the next". What they don't agree with is that, angry takes a long time of pushing to get to, and everyone has a breaking point. <br /><br />This took a lot of courage to post... and I'm sorry you've heard some negative feedback. I look at mental illness - I have anxiety and depression and others b/c of my family history - as a different way of looking at the world. Normal is so very boring. I hate being medicated b/c I can't WRITE and that frustrates me more than the mental issues. I write a lot of poetry, but when medicated all of that creativity dries up...<br /><br />I also fear pills b/c my mother believes there's a pill that cures everything. Growing up, I was told to take pills for stomach aches, but when you're 5 and you eat too much, you want Mom to soothe your stomach, not tell you to take an aspirin and harp on how it's your fault. <br /><br />At least she didn't do that with my asthma, but then, I had attacks b/c I failed to take pills to prevent the asthma. Noticing a pattern? I don't discount every pill she tries to throw at me, but I abhor being on medication for precisely that reason. Add in that she refuses to eat, and I think she's got undiagnosed bulimic issues, and it just - It's hard not to understand how people don't see how much MENTAL illness affects you, particularly when at least ONE parent refuses to admit that they need help. <br /><br />I'm glad you lived to tell the tale, though. Mine was an inconvenience compared to yours.bethanyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02595136846431700185noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5954604416278665691.post-57317902702844333812009-10-21T10:18:35.242-06:002009-10-21T10:18:35.242-06:00You lived an entire life before you were ready too...You lived an entire life before you were ready too. It is very unfortunate that these things happen & not just to the good people but that they have to happen at all. I can tell you to hold your head high & continued healing but we know those are just words & this type of torture you endured deserves much more.Kimberlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09076194149640604198noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5954604416278665691.post-37293211798417547312009-10-21T07:03:44.799-06:002009-10-21T07:03:44.799-06:00Thank you for sharing. These words must have neede...Thank you for sharing. These words must have needed to be said, and you were chosen to tell them. Have you seen <a href="" rel="nofollow">this video?</a><br />Not your experience, yet your story made me think of this and what we do to children.<br /><br />May you have Peace in your heart.Spadomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17781369901345409341noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5954604416278665691.post-27322589680847201132009-10-21T06:15:09.789-06:002009-10-21T06:15:09.789-06:00You're not crazy, Utah. It's them.You're not crazy, Utah. It's them.Blankhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10159463105401061130noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5954604416278665691.post-71295086579187360922009-10-20T18:55:43.815-06:002009-10-20T18:55:43.815-06:00glad you're still here with us to tell the sto...glad you're still here with us to tell the story, girlfriend.<br />xoPENolanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17920921974302444898noreply@blogger.com