tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5954604416278665691.post5592996869158014301..comments2023-10-21T05:56:15.949-06:00Comments on Utah Savage: Suzanne Horne, The Woman Known as Liquid IllusionUtah Savagehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16385093247915560752noreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5954604416278665691.post-46959331575535900222009-04-30T10:25:00.000-06:002009-04-30T10:25:00.000-06:00I suppose I'm late to the party. Better late than...I suppose I'm late to the party. Better late than never. I was reading everyone's posts on Suzanne Horne. I am from the same lifeless town that she was from. Since her death, I have had several people comment on my resemblance to her. I've been told our mannerisms and personality were similar, even. I just wanted to see for myself. I feel I missed out; that she would have been someone I would have been fortunate to experience. I look forward to getting to know her through her words and photographs!Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07930774877235783404noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5954604416278665691.post-67520046808967644052009-01-30T20:39:00.000-07:002009-01-30T20:39:00.000-07:00Naj - I was just at that point last week. Before y...Naj - I was just at that point last week. Before you do anything, please talk to someone. Call or email or text. Just don't harm yourself. When you are at your lowest point, that is when you are least able to make such a final decision.<BR/><BR/>Please reach out to someone. I know I'm a stranger, but you can talk to me if you want.lisahgoldenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11158660223296807317noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5954604416278665691.post-88093922210646011562009-01-30T20:20:00.000-07:002009-01-30T20:20:00.000-07:00I went to Liquid Illuzion for Art ... there was AL...I went to Liquid Illuzion for Art ... there was ALWAYS something stunning to squeeze the breath out of me ...<BR/>tonight i am bored<BR/>I have been suicidal all this weekend<BR/>no one understands how real the wish for death is in me; because I am such a cold and rational kind of a woman ... I act like an exemplary success ...<BR/><BR/>And when I am depressed, lonely, and confused I start going to my art-links ... Utah's my spiritual refuge, somehow ... and liquid Illuzion was were i went for pictures, colors and poems ...<BR/><BR/>I was shocked, for a second I thought this is all a web prank ...<BR/>but I envy her so much now<BR/>so so so much<BR/><BR/>And I envy you too Utah ... ofr having the tools AND the courage ... i have neither ...Najhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17728668942925956610noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5954604416278665691.post-7977915997343918222009-01-25T20:59:00.000-07:002009-01-25T20:59:00.000-07:00Where have I been? How late I am to write I will ...Where have I been? How late I am to write I will miss her art, poetry, and dynamic creativity.<BR/><BR/>Right foot Left foot<BR/>Oh, the sound of pitter - pat.<BR/>Some paths lead me forward<BR/>And some leave me confused.<BR/>Destinations that have brought me joy<BR/>and journeys that left me feeling used.<BR/>I choose these streets and avenues<BR/>Whether skipping and whistling<BR/>or singing the blues.<BR/>This reminds me,<BR/>I need some new shoes!<BR/><BR/>And the picture I love so much: <A>ice cube</A>Stella by Starlighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16385761338190877425noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5954604416278665691.post-38323869074497941422009-01-24T14:48:00.000-07:002009-01-24T14:48:00.000-07:00Sandy Carlson of Writing in Faith received the Pos...Sandy Carlson of Writing in Faith received the Post of the Day Award for her discussion of Suzanne's untimely death. You can read about it here: http://www.therisingblogger.com/2009/01/03/writing-in-faith/<BR/><BR/>JHS<BR/><A HREF="http://www.therisingblogger.com" REL="nofollow">The Rising Blogger</A>JHShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06930867710215940193noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5954604416278665691.post-31421952229016734812009-01-20T21:15:00.000-07:002009-01-20T21:15:00.000-07:00I felt the same way - so unbelievable sad!I felt the same way - so unbelievable sad!rdlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04062856086277201874noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5954604416278665691.post-60476820425057708592009-01-05T20:16:00.000-07:002009-01-05T20:16:00.000-07:00I did not know of her blog until FriedaBee told me...I did not know of her blog until FriedaBee told me.<BR/><BR/>So much talent, such a shame. I hope she is free of whatever her torment was.<BR/><BR/>Regards,<BR/><BR/>TengrainTengrainhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00171857054812345617noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5954604416278665691.post-91005946855162057972009-01-05T18:42:00.000-07:002009-01-05T18:42:00.000-07:00I'm glad you wrote about this. I'm still stunned t...I'm glad you wrote about this. I'm still stunned that Suzanne ended her life. Looking over her poetry, it's clear that she was tortured. Unfortunately, when I read her work before, I didn't know that she would act on her demons.<BR/><BR/>You are kind and generous and warm. I understand your guilt, but really, not even those who knew her best were able to save her, so don't be too hard on yourself.lisahgoldenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11158660223296807317noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5954604416278665691.post-12842668993277412842009-01-05T18:00:00.000-07:002009-01-05T18:00:00.000-07:00Oh, this is so terrible! A loss for those who knew...Oh, this is so terrible! A loss for those who knew her, and because she expressed herself with beauty and truth more permanent than her short life (and if the earth persists, more permanent than ours), a loss for those who know her only from her work. Or even just the poem you posted.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12306491903311869968noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5954604416278665691.post-51518080127768436262009-01-05T17:05:00.000-07:002009-01-05T17:05:00.000-07:00Jailya, that was a stunningly beautiful piece of w...Jailya, that was a stunningly beautiful piece of writing. I can only say that sadly, you have no control over the soul in torment of someone you love. It's a very hard truth. Your comment is very moving. I hope you feel free to come back and comment often. We cannot change anyone but ourselves. We are helpless in the face of another's torment. We can't understand it or fathom it or change it. Sad, but true.Utah Savagehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16385093247915560752noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5954604416278665691.post-78152262235001025972009-01-05T14:36:00.000-07:002009-01-05T14:36:00.000-07:00Utah ... I've just now gone to Suzanne's blog for ...Utah ... I've just now gone to Suzanne's blog for the first time and read only the header ... and I'm weeping. <BR/><BR/>What beauty she revealed; what torment she masked ...<BR/><BR/>Bless her for being.<BR/><BR/>... Just over 14 years ago, on the Winter Solstice, a man who was both friend and colleague to me ended his life. The grief in suicide's wake is brutal ... Susan, you wrote, "Suicide could be described as an excess of thought choking itself." Yes ... and the bereavement from suicide nearly chokes the sanity out of those left behind. We just about tear ourselves to shreds with questions, the big two being WHY? and WHAT COULD I HAVE DONE?<BR/><BR/>Why? ... We'll never know; the answer died with the person.<BR/><BR/>What could I have done? ... Nothing; absolutely nothing. Ultimately, nothing ... despite everything that I and everyone else had already done.<BR/><BR/>That's the hardest truth we'll ever have to learn. Sometimes, there is NOTHING we can do. It's a harrowing liberation to realize this.<BR/><BR/>Over the last few months, I have been readying myself (as it were, knowing that there is ultimately nothing I can do) for the moderate possibility that someone dear to me might choose to end his life. He's putting out increasingly desperate (yet off-putting) signals and I really don't know which way he'll move. I pump out the love to him and pray my soul into a sweat for him to be sparked back into his sweet, goofy self ... (Anyone who reads this: if you could add my loved one to your murmurs of prayer ... His name is Buddy ... *Thank you* xo)<BR/><BR/>Suicide's one of the ways that can jar us into waking up and LOVING ... doing our best to not waste a moment ...<BR/><BR/>Sorry for the long post ... but Utah, thank you so much for letting us know about this gorgeous soul whose gifts we can honour ...Jaliyahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02868006713291780694noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5954604416278665691.post-40250541577139107032009-01-05T09:45:00.000-07:002009-01-05T09:45:00.000-07:00What a shame.What a shame.Randal Graveshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08728992897551848531noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5954604416278665691.post-15432785602042453642009-01-05T07:01:00.000-07:002009-01-05T07:01:00.000-07:00Oh...no...I am so sorry and sad....this is just no...Oh...no...I am so sorry and sad....this is just not fair....<BR/><BR/>Utah, be difficult...be in a bad mood...say fuck as much as you want.... cry for Liquid.... I believe that's better than the alternative.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5954604416278665691.post-32645726526196237372009-01-05T01:06:00.000-07:002009-01-05T01:06:00.000-07:00We all give clues. Some of us make a career of sh...We all give clues. Some of us make a career of showing the world our pain. The truth is it was so apparent that she was in pain. Her poetry was always an attempt to turn her pain into something beautiful. Even her timing was beautiful. Death of Christmas Eve. Her life was a gorgeous illusion. We chose our on-line names with some underlying logic. She left so many clues. And she was bipolar. Leading cause of death in the bipolar patient is suicide. we self medicate to deal with the pain. We give up eventually. We want to believe that we'll get better. There is no better. Unless it's a better drug. Incurable, progressive, genetic. If we have children we almost guarantee that we will pass it on. Three genetic markers for bipolar disorder. Only one for most genetic disorders or illnesses. All the old ones want to believe that they've got it licked. Dodged that bullet. Not so fast. Even I keep my emergency stash for the easy way out if it gets too bad. And I keep a straight edge razor at the side of my bed. There are so many ways to do it. But cancer won't kill me, or a heart attack, or a massive stroke. Suicide will kill me. Let me count the ways. The only question is when. <BR/><BR/>For the moment, I'm looking forward to publishing something. I'm looking forward to the Inauguration of Obama. Maybe another spring. I'm still curious. Still learning things.Utah Savagehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16385093247915560752noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5954604416278665691.post-83628612979948309262009-01-05T00:56:00.000-07:002009-01-05T00:56:00.000-07:00very sad. RIP, L.I.very sad. RIP, L.I.D.K. Raedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01451065603615752038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5954604416278665691.post-14872906727759417702009-01-05T00:46:00.000-07:002009-01-05T00:46:00.000-07:00this is so sad...I am very sorry for your loss, pe...this is so sad...I am very sorry for your loss, peg.....suicide is very personal and you had no cause in it...you can rest peacefully in that and that she has found what she needed ...believe that...L'Adelaidehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10725322054223364858noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5954604416278665691.post-21804400227053133292009-01-04T21:47:00.000-07:002009-01-04T21:47:00.000-07:00Utah you are not to blame. But yes, we should all...Utah you are not to blame. But yes, we should all be kinder to each other just because human beings deserve and need kindness.Life As I Know It Nowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03733963455243806298noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5954604416278665691.post-35251972394346416482009-01-04T19:46:00.000-07:002009-01-04T19:46:00.000-07:00I'm am so sorry. You never really know what troubl...I'm am so sorry. You never really know what troubles live in the heart of people.Commander Zaiushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11000824454124236774noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5954604416278665691.post-52247153341721127322009-01-04T18:44:00.000-07:002009-01-04T18:44:00.000-07:00Oh no, how terrible. I'm so sorry to hear it.Oh no, how terrible. I'm so sorry to hear it.Mauigirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15529827915262851910noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5954604416278665691.post-89957463806745500622009-01-04T17:52:00.000-07:002009-01-04T17:52:00.000-07:00Utah You are stunning and aluring! I just tried ...Utah<BR/> You are stunning and aluring! I just tried to join you on good read but it wanted my old yahoo info and I am no longer with AOL or have the same E!<BR/> Hon we can change info antime! I am not reading any books these days not even my own. All I do is try to keep up with this growing mess!<BR/> I am on a new civilian media site that is quite good. Border Explorer loves it! There is a cash incentive and at any rate it would be ideal for you and your style. <BR/> I started on Reddit today too at the advice of someone who likes my stuff and has taken it upon himself to promote it! <BR/> Anyway that worldwide civilian media site is <A HREF="http://www.allvoices.com" REL="nofollow">allvoices</A>jmsjoinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17631105639275375922noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5954604416278665691.post-64895303451120756632009-01-04T17:45:00.000-07:002009-01-04T17:45:00.000-07:00you gave me the news Utah....... i'm in disbelief....you gave me the news Utah....... i'm in disbelief..... <A HREF="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30egIKHT-pM" REL="nofollow">Suzanne</A>Ghost Dansinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15216056025402469120noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5954604416278665691.post-65691574890540630422009-01-04T17:28:00.000-07:002009-01-04T17:28:00.000-07:00Very sad news.Very sad news.Nanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18359007443116549436noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5954604416278665691.post-72250257470253979502009-01-04T17:23:00.000-07:002009-01-04T17:23:00.000-07:00This is so tragic. I am sorry for your loss Utah ...This is so tragic. I am sorry for your loss Utah - <BR/>GailGailhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11337675996256691215noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5954604416278665691.post-55480931937845667812009-01-04T17:22:00.001-07:002009-01-04T17:22:00.001-07:00I didn't know her, or the reasons she did it, but ...I didn't know her, or the reasons she did it, but it's a shame that she did that. <BR/><BR/>And those events are increasing, it's hard to say who might be next.BBChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15323188240580782454noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5954604416278665691.post-44123481218710314552009-01-04T17:22:00.000-07:002009-01-04T17:22:00.000-07:00This week has been difficult. I got to know Suzann...This week has been difficult. I got to know Suzanne. We would share some laughs and we got to know some of each others struggles.<BR/><BR/>I wrote several posts on my blog in the week between the week of Christmas and New Years in her memory. It will be a long time before we get over Liquid.Cliffhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08322086604599640345noreply@blogger.com