Friday, July 18, 2008

A Moment's Clarity

It's working. I think it's working. Life and energy, and clarity of vision.... Oh god, is this place dirty! As my focus returns, I swear there is actual fuzz. On the objet d'art, there appears to be light brown chick fuzz. No, no I'm not hallucinating, there is fuzz. And every lovely oak surface is dusty. I say this charitably. And it appears I have been eating in bed, as there is a brown stain on the edge of my top sheet that can only be chocolate ice cream. The surface of the kitchen table has smears of butter and a scattering of crumbs and is covered with a neat pile of mail--Melea brings it out and stacks it for me--She is the daughter who seems to love me best. Though it is, perhaps, the fact that she hasn't really seen me at my worst. Oh, she thinks she has, but no, no. She has not seen me at my worst.

I have friends at Face Book, or My Space or however you young people say it, type it. Whatever. Anyway, I have friends. So there Randal. Oh, by the way Randal, do you have an Agent I could borrow? We have a book that needs publishing. Na na, na na, na, na. Anybody have an Agent? We have several stories that I believe have great cinematic potential. And we have a diversity of cultures, ages, and voices. It's a really interesting book, and it's speeding to it's chilling conclusion. Among our writers we have four really great editors and that's a godsend for a good collaboration. Each writer knows what she intends to say. These are damn strong women, overworked and raising families, moving to France in one case. I am the least able editor, and the only writer who spends half her day stretched out in bed, watching any old crap on MSNBC or CNN. This is a shameless admission. Oh well.

So, aside from writing this rather manic gloat, I have changed my bed, washed my laundry, and begun the dusting. I washed two dog bed covers, my towels. Fascinating isn't it. I also got a heart monitor to wear for the next month. Just like a tiny EKG. Then I cleaned my fridge, and went to the grocery store. I thought for a few minutes yesterday, that I might have lost my apatite and would lose some weight, but sadly that's not likely. For dinner, I had three thick lamb chops and fresh, cut from the cob, Texas style, creamed corn--one of my long departed grandmother's delicacies. All in all it's been a good day. And if when you read this, it's complete gibberish, we'll know I'm not tuned up quite right yet.

14 comments:

E said...

Sounds like you're getting back in the game!

enigma4ever said...

Sounds like you are getting fine tuned..and are much better...really...anytime you start describing food like that I think you sound better...I am sorry about the monitor- but atleast you are getting monitored so that is good , right? You know some of the heart meds do have a bumpy ride with polar meds? your docs know that right?....okay I will stop being such a naggy nurse...

Many hugs good woman..been thinking that yeah, we all need a good agent don't we??? I wish....

Nan said...

Glad to hear you're feeling more balanced.

Randal Graves said...

An EKG? All you need is some biomechanical implants and your actual heart replaced with a Evil Spheroid Of Death and you'll be the chick version of Cheney. If you replace the lambchops with meals of tiny, tiny babies.

I fucking hate dusting. All the other types of cleaning display their results a little bit longer. But that dust comes back in mere seconds.

An agent? I've revamped my stupid book about 752 times already and am afraid to show it to non-agents, let alone ones that'll tell me it sucks. And I don't murder anyone, you Lizzie Bordens, you.

That doesn't mean I still don't want to read them. I know men I want to axe murder, too.

DivaJood said...

Tell Melea to dust. As for the rest of it, the lamb chops and creamed corn, oh, yummie. I had to settle for chocolate cake with crunchy peanut butter filling.

Ingrid said...

Great, glad you're seeing things more clearly LOL..how funny you 'all of the sudden' notice food trails that tells you that yes indeeddie..I DID eat!!
I'm glad E is there to double check you on the meds (it pays to have second or even third opinions) but all in love no doubt.
So I remember that you mentioned something before to me about reading your writings, as opposed to your posts which you seemed to be concerned I would not like..
where can that be found? And you're on Facebook? email me and I'll 'add' you as a friend. That said, all the groups I belong to and the 'friends' I do have who try to get me to play all those silly games, I have to say I ignore those. Too time consuming and they're really for younger people (she said sounding like a haggie..hehe)..
btw.. when I said 'E'.. I meant enigma..I'm so used to just referring to her as 'E' (shorter and kinda like a nickname) that I did not realize there's an 'actual 'e'' here as well.
Anyway..glad you're climbing out of the fog and back to the reality of doing housework (I know I know..I'm doing laundry as I type..sigh)

glad you do have someone who looks out for you, what would we do if we didn't have anyone??

hugs

Ingrid

Utah Savage said...

Ingrid, the writings,are on the right side of my savage page at the top--The novel, Maggy, the Savage Stories, and Savage Poetry. They are linked to those blogs. I'd love any comments, editorial assistance, and an Agent--Somebody out there's got an Agent, and they're holding out on me.

DCup said...

This is good to read. I'm glad you're eating and feeling like getting things done - including bopping Randal over the head and nagging me (yes, I got the email, my love).

I started the draft, but it hasn't gotten very far.

Be well, my writing collaborator.

Anita said...

I used to each chocolate ice cream in bed all the time when I was really, really down. It's so comforting. But it really packs on the pounds, which made me more depressed.

Why are all the fun things bad for you?

Utah Savage said...

Dcup, good to hear nagging works.

Anita, I think fat is the real wages of sin.

Randal Graves said...

Sex is fun and good for you, or so I hear.

Bopped on the head? Mmmbop. DAMMIT.
I'm going to borrow some of Freida Bee's cleanser to get this Hanson out of my skull. I hate you all.

DCup said...

Oh, Randal. I meant bopped in the head in the good way. Mwah! Don't hate us too much. Yet.

Je ne regrette rien said...

my god woman, I took a couple of days break from reading (I'm internet deprived, forced to write offline and then dash into an internet space to upload and sign off...) anyhoo, I take a break and return with a few extra minutes for reading and WHAM-O! ZAP!ka-POW! just like on Batman, you've rolled on in with half a dozen profundities!

I'm off to savor each one and ponder something deep to respond with ... xo

Je ne regrette rien said...

omg-2nd comment was going to be Sex is good for you and calorie free...and then I saw RG beat me to it. ruh roh!