It's Shit On a Shingle at My Place Tonight

So, how many plates shall I get out?

Some of you may be too young to understand the name of my dish as you have neither served on a navy ship or had a relative who liked to relive the magic of a life at sea, but I'm pretty sure that's where the name comes from. No don't go there, I'm not talking about sea sickness at all. I'm talking food that is cheap and filling. Comfort food, if you will. The stick to your ribs kind. Maybe it's prison food, too.

Once when I was visiting one of my lefty friends in New Orleans, I found a small bookstore in the Quarter that had a copy of a book called White Trash Cooking. I'm not kidding. Of course I bought that overpriced paperback, and worth every penny it was. So valuable in fact that when my house was broken into, the bastard stole my copy of White Trash Cooking. Have you noticed that final g on cooking? Wonder if it was a phony? No, I know white trash cooking, and this was the real deal. Every ingredient can be found at your local convenience store alone with your Kools. Unless we're talking crawdads, or frogs for instance. One of my favorite recipes was the sugar sandwich. I swear I never made one, but damn it was tempting. Take two slices of Wonderbread. Spread with one of four greases: butter, margarine, Crisco, or lard. Sprinkle generously with granulated white sugar and eat. Yup, that's it.

I wish I still had that book, but I did memorize a few recipes and have added my own flourishes. Any recipe with a cream sauce I'm good with. Add a salty dried beef, finely cut into small pieces to spread that salt around. A bunch of frozen peas. Buttered toast. Pour the "chipped beef" mixture on the buttered toast and hunch yourself down at the table with a cheap beer. Heaven on earth some days. Delicious enough to make me moan. But it doesn't take much to make me moan. It's a very versatile dish as it can be served at any meal. Scramble a couple of eggs and dump them on the toast and then spread the shit on it and you've got yourself a hearty rib sticking breakfast.

I just checked and yup, it's still on the market. I'm gonna order one as soon as my social security check clears.

Manic and Heading for a CRASH!

Well, all it takes to know that I have been manic is a look at the number of rambling, incoherent, and entirely unworthy posts I've written or assembled over the past couple of days. To you it's the weekend. To me it's just Saturday and Sunday, no different from Monday, let's say. One can only go that fast so long without eventually crashing. Oh, I still have the boundless energy, but having refused to use it to some necessary good, like dusting for instance, I am still sitting here typing away. So, now it's time to apologize to those insomniacs who have been following this oncoming crash.

It is amazing to me that I can have so much fun, sitting here in my bunker typing away into the wee small hours (oh Sinatra, must YouTube that) of the morning entertaining myself immensely. But then to awaken with a sore throat and a crashing headache and still refuse to see the dust. But not any more. No, now I will dust, dammit. But just in case you're dying for some Chairman of the Board, here it comes...