Saturday, July 5, 2008

Three Straight Days Of Blowing Shit Up

Did the word go out, and I didn't get my notice, that this year, to commemorate the end of the reign of George W Bush, we will blow shit up every night, just to drive dogs, and children who go to bed early, and sensible old women NUTS????

And here in Utah where, in fact, it is still savage, we will do it twice a night, just because it's so damn fun!! And god knows, we're rolling in dough. Bring on The Rocket's Red Glare, The Bombs Bursting IN AIR!!! Will it go on all damn month? Will it go on until that MORON is gone, finally, at last? Or are they desensitizing us for the coup d'etat to come? Is King George getting us ready for the big finale? Keep the windows rattling night after night, and then do it for real, and nobody will notice. Just another night of KABOOM!!!

14 comments:

Beach Bum said...

The fireworks are about over here. Last night it went on to midnight and shut down. In a strange way its puts me to sleep since one night while in the field for the army. We were at Fort Jackson and they had a National Guard mortar unit doing night fire along with a basic training unit doing the crawling under the firing machine gun stuff. They tell the basic trainees its just inches above their heads forcing them to crawl on their bellys but its actually way above. I was in my night deployment position in my army surplus jungle hammock with rain falling on the canvas roof shelter attached to it. My best friend at the time was several feet away in his jungle hammcock and we talked about important stuff like science fiction, chicks, guns, and what beer was the best. I slept like a baby, at least until the bottom of my hammcock ripped and deposited me on the wet ground much to laughter of my best friend once he woke up. Last damn time I ever bought anything surplus.

Utah Savage said...

Beach I have missed your great comments and wonderful writing. I'll sit my but down here today and come catch up. And I do really recommend "The Imperial Life In The Emerald City," Better writing than the Ricks' book. "Fiasco" nearly ripped my heart out. I had to take breaks from it since it was breaking my heart.

DCup said...

I'm glad it's almost over. Previews of coming attractions?

Anything is possible. Yuck.

Randal Graves said...

Sounds like you've gotten it far worse than we have. Who knew the stereotype of Utah being full of reserved and righteous crackers was a line of bullshit?

Too bad I can't get the neighbor to stop working on his fucking car. Can I borrow some Roman candles?

BB, I'd figure the mortars would keep you up more because of their intermittent nature. Unless you guys were shotting off THAT many in a row. The fireworks, for the most part, tend to blend into a mash of sound for 1-2 hours. I don't think anyone buys M-80s anymore. :)

Utah Savage said...

Randal, noticehow Mormon is just one letter away from moron? They have a very famous choir called the Mormon Tabernacle Choir; we infidels call it the Moron Tab and Apple Choir.

These are gun tooting righteous rednecks. When you're not expecting fireworks and they arrive out of the blue, it could be the crazy Mormon guy up the street setting of his RPG, following it up with some hot sexy rounds from his M-80. Like music to his ears. Yes, Utah is still savage. And Pioneer Day will soon be upon us. I must go out and re-provision, maybe prepare for the worst and horde a bit of food. Buy two cartons of smokes instead of one. Get lemons to prevent scurvy.

A Fekkyn Loonatyk said...

I effing hate that shit.

SaoirseDaily2 said...

I hate fireworks too. With the price of everything else I cannot understand why people waste the money just to hear something go boom or pop. Too crazy. Have a great week ahead.

A Raven Loonatyk said...

Some assholes around here are still shooting them, too. My mother is pissed because a kid borrowed her cigarette lighter and didn't give it back, so she had to bitch about it all day. Nice. I told her he probably ran it out of fluid. Does that make her any happier--hell no.

Here in Memphis (this is the South so most people have guns), 2 people have been injured because dumbasses are shooting their guns in the air to celebrate the 4th. I guess ammo is cheaper than fireworks.

Anyway, I'm always kind of glad when holidays are over.

The end of the reign of King George I is sure to bring on a plethora of celebration. I am sure there will be fireworks, drunkenness and all forms of debauchery fit for the Roman Empire. Won't it be refreshing?

Indicted Plagiarist said...

Happy belated 4th of July greetings from Baghdad to all of you!

Utah Savage said...

Saoirse, my friend, how nice of you to stop and say hi.

BBC said...

I don't put up with it, I retreat to the national forest where they are not allowed. Will start posting about my camping trip in the morning.

Beach Bum, science fiction is not important stuff, no fiction is important stuff, it's just an escape for those that can't handle reality. If you like fiction read a fucking bible, any bible of any religion.

MAN vs WOMAN

enigma4ever said...

I am so sorry...I hope they end soon - for humans and animals they wear everyone's nerves tooooo thin....I will be honest I just would not picture or expect it there in Utah- shows how little I know...

hugs to you and the critters...
( btw this may be terrible- but Scottie we used to give half beer and benadryl to get him through the Kabooms...and my Bassatt was generally comforted by beer and hotdogs, and a pillow over her head...poor critters- there probally are better drugs now to cut the anxiety)

Naj said...

Did I notice correctly that fire-cracking was outlawed in Dallas?! (200$ fine)

Vigilante said...

Utah might appreciate this. As you know, Santa Barbara county is still being threatened by this monstrous "Gap Fire". In the middle of this tragedy, one county supervisor refused to vote against outlawing all fireworks because 'it's the rights we fought all those wars over'. I don't have to identify his political party.