Thursday, October 30, 2008

What Halloween Means To Me

Well, nothing really. I hate costume parties. I spent too many years having to wear some kind of costume and mask daily. I never could leave my house without the full drag required of a professional beauty. When I was working it was hose, high heels, the right undies (seamless flesh colored bra and flesh colored thong) and big name designer label clothing. Every season required a new wardrobe of shoes for shows and photos, the monthly expense of a good hair-cut and color. Every season required the right costume jewelry, and accessories. But it was the applying of the make-up (as much part of the costume as any other item) that made me hate Halloween. My hairdresser and his boyfriend always came to me to get them ready for Halloween parties. Since we were about the same size, I would dress them both in drag and apply the necessary make-up to turn them into the tart of their dreams. I had wigs, hair pieces, hats, gloves. I only drew the line at shoes. It grew tiresome. Then my mother went crazy and required my full time attention, and then I went crazy and stopped caring about any of that crap.

Another reason I hated Halloween was that it seemed (for grown-ups) to be the perfect occasion to wear a disguise, go to a party, drink too much and act like an asshole.

If you were to trace my distaste for Halloween back to its roots, you would find a three year old dressed as a ghost with a gold cardboard crown on top of her sheet covered head, holes for eyes, nose, and mouth. She carried a bag and was to be taken around the neighborhood by her brothers and returned home safely before the boys went off by themselves. They lost her somewhere along the way. She lost her crown, she lost her bag of candy, and was finally taken home by a lady who lived in the neighborhood. And to add insult to injury, this little girl was called a crybaby by her mother when finally delivered to the door by the kind neighbor. All our neurosis can be traced to our childhood and our siblings and our parents. So in some respect, we never grow up, never grow up, never grow up.

22 comments:

Linda Sama said...

thank goodness there's someone else who hates Halloween....what a pain in the ass day.

Utah Savage said...

So over-hyped. Actually all holidays are just giant marketing ploys to get us to buy crap we don't need and will never use again, and ruin our teeth and our children's teeth so our dentists and the candy industry can stay rich.

Liberality said...

nice photo of some mean pumpkins!

Utah Savage said...

HAHAHAHA! I've found a photo and lugged it home! Now I want to know how to insert them where ever I want. Blogger makes it so arbitrary.

Randal Graves said...

See how much better a post is when it has imagery?

I absolutely love Halloween, but then again, I don't dress up, I don't go anywhere (taking the kids out trick or treating doesn't really count in my book), don't pass out candy. A few glasses of wine doesn't count as getting fucked up, and I'm an asshole even when I'm sober, so there ya go. I guess I dig the idea of giving our darker natures a say, some Rabelaisian masque.

That said, it's very easy to see why someone would loathe this holiday. Still, Xmas is by far the worst.

Ghost Dansing said...

well Utah and Linda..... as you might imagine i love Halloween..... ritual reflects existential roots of human spirituality...... specifically the comprehension of life's end points to the unknown beyond...... seeds spawning speculation regarding the hereafter, concepts of gods and God, and religions...... the projection of humanity beyond itself...... existence beyond the limitations of mortality's constraints...... tomorrow wendy......

Utah Savage said...

Yes, Randal, Xmas is worse. Much worse. More on that later. First I have to get through Thanksgiving. Thanks for all the tips and stuff. The first one I tried and I tried to turn Halloween into a trademark, but couldn't make it work. I'll practice then spring it on you all at once.

Ghost, you hit another home run with that clip. I'll post it post haste.

Ghost Dansing said...

mahk jchi Utah.....

Steve Emery said...

I am with you on this holiday - I mostly dislike it. I actually don't think I like any holiday I can think of. I'm not much into rituals outside of church, and even then they have to be deeply connected, or they backfire for me. I hat giving out the candy - I just hold myself straight and polite and get through it.

But I do like carving pumpkins, and we do like to take our huge white bat puppet round the neighborhood...

And I'm so with Randal and you on Christmas. It has become a nightmare from which we can't escape. Every year I'm tempted to explode and take out all the relatives as collateral damage. I can't come up with a gentle way to simply opt out, and this makes me furious year after year.

DCup said...

Cupcake keeps asking if we're going to go trick or treating tomorrow and I keep pretending to forget that tomorrow is Halloween. She isn't buying it.

Utah Savage said...

Steve, that is the great American holiday tradition--getting all the family together so they can torture and bore one another into near violence. Oh the horror of family obligation. There is choice and then then there is coercion based on guilt. What fun.

Utah Savage said...

Oh Dcup and out in the country too. Does that mean driving from house to house?

Dave Dubya said...

C'mon, loosen up and release your inner pagan. It's not about the costumes, decorations, and pumpkins. Strip away the corporate vestiges and dance naked!

Utah Savage said...

We don't want to terrify the kiddies do we Dave?

Tengrain said...

Utah -

I don't have to go to a party, get dressed up, and drink too much to act like an asshole. I just choose not to.

Actually, I don't like Halloween much either. I find diminutive ghosts and goblins to be very disturbing, and frankly reality is strange enough, too, so I don't need a day where that sort of thing is encouraged.

Give me a holiday that encouraged fine jazz, good scotch, dim lights, and a toasty fire and I'm there.

Regards,

Tengrain

Sylvia K said...

Hmmm I like the jazz, toasty fire, a good drink idea and not having to answer the door -- which I don't do anyway. I'm into bah humbug, regardless of the holiday. Had enough when my kids were growing up.

Utah Savage said...

Tengrain, be still my heart.

Utah Savage said...

Sylvia, where've you been all my life? We could be twins separated at birth. I don't like people much even if I'm not related to them. Except for Tengrain.

susan said...

I remember some people who gave out fried eggs as tricks-or-treats once. Was it us? Did we really do it or was it something we imagined after smoking some Moroccan gold? I do remember the taste of Irish whisky and listening to Dave Brubeck by the toasty fire.

I notice my word verification here is 'blech' tonight - seems fitting and for Christmas too.

Nan said...

I see Halloween as the quintessential American holiday -- it's all about total, complete self-gratification: give me, me, me treats or else! And, unlike Christmas, there's no hypocrisy involved.

Randal Graves said...

susan, I'm stealing that nugget of reality or drugged-out flight of fancy.

Hell with not passing crap out, all you little bastards are getting fried eggs tonight.

Linda Sama said...

I think I will hand out cocktail onions and miniature weiners to the rug rats.