Saturday, February 28, 2009

Bring It On

I've just evicted a male renter for claiming having a penis exempted him from certain chores entailed in sharing a house with a female. He claimed there were male chores and female chores and even the chores he claimed he was good at, he was too lazy or too busy watching sports to do. My notice of this fact and the irate letter I left him really pissed him off and thus, the unfortunate reference to his royal penis. I've been married to guys like him. I have no patience for the "I've got a penis" defense.

Ms. M is now in need of someone to share the house with since I evicted her roommate. She does the usual things in this sort of situation and posts ads on the usual sites. One of the people who responded was a U of Utah med student getting ready to go on rotations. Ms. M works at a hospital. She is also a student. She knows what this means and thinks it's a good sign--this person will be too busy to be a problem. He sounds like someone with ambition and drive. So she agrees to meet him. He seems nice enough and she brings him over to look at the house and to meet me. He likes the house, but in the walk from a local coffee house, he says things that contradict his ad. He was 34 in the ad. He's 32 in person. This doesn't alarm her terribly. She asks for references. He says he'll get them together. She asks him if he wants to leave a deposit. He does. He pays it in cash.

She comes to me and gets the receipt book. I go out to meet him and within three questions, I get three terrible answers. I ask him if I can contact his last landlord. He says, she won't give him a good reference since his roommate's cousin was smoking weed in the basement, got so stoned he set the house on fire, plus he still owes her back rent. Not his fault? My inner umpire calls out "Strike One."

I ask him where he works, and he goes into a long explanation of how he's not sure if he has his jobs right now because he's living with his sister and her family and there are seven of them in a small one bathroom house and how he can't get bathroom time to get ready for work. (The address he gives on the reciept say Apt. C--not a house at all). I asked him where he worked and he said, McDonalds and so and so's nursery school. He'll have to call and find out if he still has his jobs. But he has plenty of money since he's got five grand on his tax refund. Five grand! I owned a nursery school for a year and the very best of them pay help crap. And I know he isn't making much at McDonalds. So how does he have a five grand tax refund? These thoughts run through my mind but I don't say them aloud. I think, "Strike Two!"

I say, "So are you a full time med student?" He's not sure at the moment because of the problems where he's living. "Strike Three!" But here is really where my shallow self comes in to play and fucks me up one more time. This guy is a very nice looking well built young man. Instead of saying "Here's your deposit back," I say, "Get back to me with the references and I'll think about it."

Big mistake! I should have said right then, "Here is your deposit back. I'm sure you're very nice, but this won't work for me. And there are other people interested." But I didn't.

When Ms. M gets home Sunday evening from her long day at the E R, the first thing I say to her is "NO on the renter. He just won't work. Too many red flags." Then she tells me about the six text messages he sent during her work day. So she calls him and he hangs up on her. Then he proceeds to call her five times to tell her how angry he is and then hangs up on her each time. Charming. There is no doubt that this guy is not roommate material. Now she's in tears and the hairs are standing up on the back of my neck. This guy is not only not roommate material but he may also be a little bit crazy. She just wants to give him his money back and he's threatening court action. I try to call him and he picks up, then hangs up. This is a technique that does not endear him to me. He calls her back and tells her she talked me into turning against him. Quite the contrary, he has done this very nicely all by himself.

On Monday, two days after his visit with us, and after all the harassing text messages and phone calls Sunday that end up in his hanging up on her, he calls me. I tell him the decision not to rent to him was mine, not hers and that nothing she said to me influenced my decision. It was his answers to my questions that made me decide not to rent to him. But his harassing her with calls that end in hang ups has only made me more sure that my decision not to rent to him was a good decision. I ask him how he'd like to get his deposit back? He tells me he's going to sue me and hangs up on me.

I call a male friend of mine who used to be the Director of Legal Services. I tell him the little saga and he says, "Call the police a let them know this guy is harassing you. He's trying to bully and scare you. Don't let him get away with it. This is all bullshit! Call the police now."

So I do. The female police person I talk to says, "So far he isn't really harassing you. You're tenant has a better case than you, but I'll give him a call and tell him to stop calling you." She gives me a case number.

And throughout the early part of the week he continues to text and call Ms M. His phone calls consist of his telling her how angry he is and that he won't talk to her when he's angry and then he hangs up on her. Finally he agrees to meet her to get his deposit back. She gets a male friend to go with her as a witness and as protection. Mr. Scary calls her the morning of the meeting and says he can't make it. She changes her phone number. So he calls me.

He starts by saying, "You're a really nice, angelic lady." Now for starters this really pisses me off. I'm not that nice and though I might be angelic, I'm definitely no lady. In fact I find the word "lady" particularly offensive. We live in a democracy with no monarchy and thus no lords and ladies. But I say nothing about how offensive this reference to royalty is to me. Then he launches into a rant about Ms M and how unfair she's been to him. I say, "When you call her over and over to tell her how angry you are with her and then hang up, she finds this frightening and not only does not want you to share a living space with her she wants to stop your calls." I don't mention that his calling me is grounds for me to call the cops and report him based on the police case number I have. I do tell him we want to get his deposit back to him. I say we will send his money to him via Western Union. He hangs up on me. When the women at Western Union calls him to tell him his money is there he hangs up on her. She thinks this is funny since in all her years at Western Union no one has ever been irate that their money is waiting for them. Usually people are either relieved or thrilled that money is waiting for them.

The last call I got from him was to tell me he's found another place to rent in the neighborhood and will be walking by my place every day and he drove by the house last night to get the address for his law suite against me.

Ms. M has every call and text message saved on her phone. And every call that comes into my house is logged onto my computer. So we're pretty well set with evidence that he has been harassing us. The Western Union woman isn't likely to forget his reaction to her call. I'm thinking, "Bring it on, asshole." But since we know he's driven by at night, we're leaving the house lit up like a Christmas tree--front motion sensor lights are on as well as the front porch light. The lights at the back of the house are left on all night. My outside lights are aimed at the back gate and front porch and I'm leaving them on all night. The gates are locked and if the prick calls me one more time, I'm calling the cops again.

I now have a whole new process for screening prospective tenants. And I've taken it out of Ms. Ms hands. I'll be the dragon bitch from now on.

In the meantime I'm thinking about getting surveillance cameras for the front and back of the property.

34 comments:

Amos said...

Woah! A close call. Glad you found him out in time. Want me to whoop his ass?

Randal Graves said...

He's certainly missing a 7, an 8 and a Jack from the deck, but both Jokers and the rules for poker remain.

Fuck that man/woman chore shit. I can toss loads in and out of the washer during timeouts and I'm about as Cro-Magnon as it gets when it comes to sports.

Dusty said...

Damn, the nutjob is OUT THERE isn't he?

Here's hoping no more calls to you Peg.

Utah Savage said...

Amos, Yes.

Randal, thanks for telling me that. The thing I was pissed off about was his not shoveling snow, since that is on his man-job list.

Dusty, I'm hoping we have dodged the bullet, but just in case we're going to talk to a lawyer. I still have the police report number. He is threatening to rent in the neighborhood so he can legitimately scare the shit out of us on a daily basis. Odd too that in the last couple of days we've had three neighbors report someone trying to break into their cars. Not accusing, just noting the coincidence. On top of the rest, I sick. Really sick. This has been going on way too long and I'm getting worse not better--all this to say I'm not making the rounds commenting on you guys blogs.

susan said...

Another crackpot doing the rounds is sad news but at least he didn't get a key. It's likely he won't get a place nearby either with that attitude so I'm hoping your worries will be over as the weather warms.

I wanted to tell you that I'm going to start working on a new series of paintings that you've helped provide the inspiration for. I'll let you know when the first one is done but it may take a while.

Linda-Sama said...

what an ass wipe. just find somebody to kick his ass. yeah, I know, I'm a yoga teacher so I shouldn't say stuff like that....but sometimes that's the only thing people understand....

Katie Schwartz said...

O M G. Go get a roommate?! Oy vey. I cannot believe what a psychopath this prick is. I love the way you're handling it.

BE SAFE.

Sorry to you and Ms. M.

Utah Savage said...

I just got a call from the victime's advocate for the Police Department. She encouraged me to file a stalker report if he keeps showing up in front of my house. I say I don't really want to piss him off as he's a very large well built guy. He looks strong. But we have good guard dogs.

She said get together with Ms.M and make a plan. A signal that he is around. Then if he hangs around, dial 911. She said he sounds like he gets off on bullying women. Don't let him.

Nan said...

Holy fuck. What a creep. That guy is definitely quite a few fries shy of a Happy Meal.

Utah Savage said...

Nan you made me laugh. Thanks I needed that. That's what the Victim's rights woman said only not so wittily.

an average patriot said...

Hon! When I first started reading that I was thinking that's what you get for thinking with your Hormones.

The guy is a psych! Too bad you even have to deal with that. Get those damn camera's and quick if you can.

You do not screw around with idiots like that. The world is full of mad men and you found one!

Mauigirl said...

Wow, he sounds like a real nutcase. Glad you didn't let him move in! And good thing you got the police involved. Hope he leaves you alone now.

Lisa said...

Oh boy. Be careful. This guy's issues run deep.

PENolan said...

Personally, I like the victims' services idea about filing the stalker alert in case he gets a wild hair and sets the house on fire. You never know what some crazy assed mutherfucker will do. Good thing you've got the dogs, but motion detectors are a good idea - maybe save you a couple of bucks on your homeowner's insurance too.

If it's not one damn thing it's another. Feel better.

Utah Savage said...

Susan I'm so damned thrilled that you'd be making art inspired by anything of mine I can't speak. I'll be over later. I'm trying to get a nap in now and then since I can't seem to shake the crud.

Katie, thanks for stopping by with words of encouragement. Let's twitter sometime.

Linda, Amos has offered and I just might call him. He's the French Foreign Legion type and probably is good with a knife. I'm sharpening mine as we speak.

James, I wish you lived in my neighborhood.

Mauigirl, I'm thinking he'll leave us alone. I've asked the guy I evicted to stick around for awhile since he can't move into his new place until the middle of the month. So Ms.M isn't alone in the house.

PENolen, I don't want to make him angrier than he is already. If they notify him, I'm afraid it might be like stirring a hornet's nest. However I'm betting this won't be the first complaint against him. He has anger issues. He's in his thirties. I bet there might be a woman in his past who pressed charges.

Liberality said...

What I don't like is that he is still attempting to harass you. By telling you that he is driving by and watching your place he is threatening you. You are running up your electric bill with lights and thinking about installing alarms. Why don't the police do something about that crap?

Utah Savage said...

Lib, he has to drive by again or call again, and then he's a stalker and they can arrest him. But so far he's just a scary prick.

La Belette Rouge said...

Jeezus! Unbelievable. See your first mistake was having an interaction with another human. I try to avoid most of them and just talk to the good ones. This guy is not one of those.

I am so happy that the police are taking this seriously and are providing you with a safety net. Also, the dogs are a comfort.

darkblack said...

If all other reasonable means fail, I would opine that it is not up to us imperfect mortals to judge behaviors in such matters.

Put his lights out, and let God be the judge.

;>)

Utah Savage said...

La Belette Rouge, yes, I too am glad the police are taking this seriously, and the dogs are indeed a comfort and a big deterrent to anyone attempting to enter the backyard. I'm most protected in the little house--no one can get back here unless the jump the eight foot fence into the jaws of Roscoe. It's the main house that has a weak spot and that's that anyone can walk up to the front door. So the only deterrent there is the lights at night--at least with the lights on, they can't do it without being seen.

Utah Savage said...

Darkblack you just made me laugh so hard I nearly choked.

I wish I had a shotgun. I think even without shells in the gun, just the sound and sigh of an old woman in bed with a shotgun aimed at your chest would be a show stopper. Besides that Cyrus sounds like a very serious Rottie when he sits up and barks or growls. But the woman at Victim's rights said unless I'm willing to kill an intruder a gun is more a liability for a woman than one would think. She says most women are unwilling to kill. I'm not so sure I fall into that category, but I don't own a shotgun, so we'll probably never know.

darkblack said...

The sound of a racked-back pump action on a shotgun surely penetrates even the foggiest of miscreant notions, but sage advice indeed, Utah: Never point a firearm unless you're willing and able to use it - and there is no 'shoot to wound'.

Amos said...

BFF

Utah Savage said...

Only if you're willing to loan me a shotgun.

Comrade Kevin said...

Yeah, it's so difficult to get a harassment charge to stick, since if they keep bothering you but don't resort to violence, there's not much one can do to prosecute.

If this gets bad, you could always file for an order of protection.

themom said...

There are times I kick myself in the ass for getting rid of my guns. I have a .22 rifle - but would feel much more comfortable with a handgun again. Oh...in other words, I would never hesitate to use one if my life or home were in jeopardy.

I hope you get better soon - this has been hanging on long enough. Having to deal with a fuktard like this whacko - is alarming. Have 911 on speed dial. Keep us informed.

Utah Savage said...

Like Darkblack said, there's nothing quite like the sound of a racked-back pump on a shotgun. That and the sound of Cyrus' bark should have any intruder shitting his pants. And I like the idea of Granny sitting up in bed looking down the barrel of a shot gun. Utah is big on gun shows, I think I'd rather have a shotgun than surveillance cameras.

darkblack said...

Well then...First shell chambered is rock salt, second is bird shot. The rest of the magazine is 00, for the 'super skells' who don't take 'bang' for an answer. And make time for some range work to aid in recoil acclimation.

;>)

Utah Savage said...

Darkblack I wish you were my neighbor.

D.K. Raed said...

I don't get why this asshole is threatening to sue you. oh nevermind, he's obviously qwwwaaazie. I'd be alerting the neighbors, so they'll be on the lookout. also anyone else with property to rent in your neighborhood should be told about him. "LADY" SAVAGE! OMG, that alone would've done it for me!

ps, get a concealed gun permit. easy to do in UT. talk to your local gunshop. you have to take a class. in the class, they tell you the circumstances under which you are allowed to shoot someone entering your home, details that will preclude endless court time!

thelass said...

Wow. First of all, I doubt the guy has a pot to piss in, let alone money to sue you. (For what? Trying to give him his money back?) Document everything, have an attorney write him a letter detailing his refusal to accept his deposit back and if you ever see him near your house, call the cops. It's their job to take a report from you, don't let them blow you off or tell you it's not harassment. It is. Does Utah have stalking laws on the books?

Utah Savage said...

Yes, Utah does have stalking laws and the woman from Victim's rights suggested filing a stalking complaint or a less effective protective order against him. It's been a three days since we've heard from him, I'm betting he picked up his cash. And honestly I think it would be funny to go to small claims court charged with keeping his money. The woman at Western Union said no one has ever refused to pick up their money and no one has ever said, "Too late!!" and hung up on her. I love to have her testify to this.

Madam Z said...

Utah, you must obey the holy commandment that says, "Thou shalt not kill, unless some motherfucker is getting all up in your face with some crazy-ass shit and you've exhausted all other options!"

On the other hand, it might be more fun to call "Amos" and have him "whoop his ass."

Utah Savage said...

The prick still hasn't picked up his money from Western Union. Ms. M called him from a pay phone to remind him to get it--they'll only hold it a week. He's still saying he's moving into the neighborhood.