Saturday, March 28, 2009

My Very First Boyfriend Is Coming to Dinner. Do You Think I'll Poison Him Too?

Yes Larry even predates Cal. And unlike Cal, Larry and I have kept in touch over the long span of years. It seems to me he has always been married, kind of like a serial polygamist. I think of the young woman he's married to now as bis fourth wife, but I could be wrong.

I am wrong about a lot of things. But still I persist in telling you how I feel. These are merely my observations and opinions, clouded by long experience, and my own skewed view point. Still, I knew his last wife and loved her. It really pissed me off when they got divorced. It was her choice, but still, since I am female, I assume he had something to do with letting her get away. He's a good man, a smart man, an interesting man. I have always loved him, but more like a little sister grown old who is fierce in needing some attention to the first man she fell in love with. I was only 12. He was almost 16. We were babies. And we never had intercourse or even really tried. Though we had plenty of touching and tasting and feeling.

He came to my sixteenth birthday party and I asked him for one thing. One thing that wouldn't cost him anything. I wanted him to have sex with me for my birthday. He gave me a Nat King Cole album. Unforgettable, was one of the songs. It was after that I asked Cal for the same gift. It seemed for a long time like getting deflowered by a boy was out of reach for me.

So, Larry is coming to dinner. I'm fixing stuffed roast chicken, steamed asparagus, cole slaw, cantaloupe, and cocktails --not exactly in that order. I have chocolate from France and chocolate ice cream. If all else fails I have peach pie. And we have much to talk about. We haven't seen each other face to face in so many years I've lost track.

17 comments:

Amos said...

Ahhhhh....No mashed potatoes.

Utah Savage said...

No, I've learned my lesson. But I have heard stories of illness of a serious sort from a well stuffed bird.

themom said...

The menus sounds delicious. Let us know if anyone had to have their stomach pumped or 911 called. Just kidding - I bet it all went quite well.

an average patriot said...

Sounds like a great meal Utah, have a ball. This should be interesting. You are a card!

PENolan said...

I expect you'll poison him and he'll love every minute of it.

Steve said...

hope you 2 have a great time.

gfid said...

surely this isn't the first opportunity you've had to poison him, so he's probably safe..... and judging from the menu, he'd die a happy man. i'm not good with old boyfriends. mostly because i'm so good at picking real jerks, and i can't stand them once all the strings are unattached. bon apetit

MRMacrum said...

I gotta say Utah, your first two boyfriends are giving us guys a bad name. For most of us at 16, it was a wet dream for a girl to make that first move.

Utah Savage said...

I can't help it if boys have scruples. And in Cal's defense he was willing and I wasn't able, and he wasn't a rapest. Larry was worried about pregnancy, and it was the olden days. Let's not forget that.

The meal was tasty, he managed to walk out alive, but I've got gas.

darkblack said...

'...but I've got gas'

Well, it'll all come out in the end.

;>)

Border Explorer said...

Loved this! I'm such a romantic. Imagine loving him practically all your life long... He's fortunate to have your loyal affection. Hope the reconnection was positive beyond simply living through it.

Randal Graves said...

You know what they say when you assume. And a little arsenic never hurt anyone except anyone that ingested a little arsenic. The same goes for undercooked bird. Hope that sucker wasn't crawling with salmonella. Now that's romantic.

Tengrain said...

So... if you really want to seduce him, give him the Nat King Cole album, and an invitation to your sweet 16 party.

Regards,

Tengrain

Mauigirl said...

From your comment it sounds as if all went well! I'm so glad.

Utah Savage said...

Ten, it's so funny that you say that about the Nat King Cole album. He reminded me that he "borrowed" the album not long after that birthday party and never gave it back.

Freida Bee, MD said...

"serial polygamist"

That term cracks me up to know end.

Freida Bee, MD said...

duh- no