Saturday, April 11, 2009

Blog Against Theoracy



Are You In Favor of Theocracy? Move To Utah. Utah is a Theocracy. I know of no other state that can make that claim. I could be wrong, but if I am I'm sure you'll let me know. The Mormon Church has a strangle hold on Utah. And the group of wise old white men on your left is the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. Oh yes, we have living, breathing, Apostles. Notice the pasty faces on these very clean cut, well connected men. Men rule everything in Utah. You'll like it here if feminism gets your goat. Uppity women are few and far between. And homosexuals? What homosexuals? According to a lot of Mormons, we have none. Oh yeah, Utah is the State of Denial.

Democrats live, for the most part, in Salt Lake City. Why is that? The University of Utah is a bastion of Moderation. Not liberal exactly, but moderate. In Utah, if you are a moderate, you are more than likely a Democrat.

And what do our Republican Representatives look like and how do they sound? Chris Butters is my favorite:



Come one, come all, bring your religious fundamentalist republican wingnutty selves to Utah, a state that welcomes you in all your nutty nuttiness, so long as you aren't gay.

And if I haven't convinced you yet that Utah is the place to bring your Theocratic selves check out these statistics.


If all you theocrats came to Utah, the rest of us could live in a country that might have a chance of being tolerant, inclusive, and free. Ah yes, let freedom ring for the rest of us. You theocrats can have your very own state with really strange liquor laws--heck, you could make it dry again.

19 comments:

Non Je Ne Regrette Rien said...

I wish I could do a Bewitched-like nose twitch and transport you straight away from that horrible land and into the lap of French civilisation.

je regrette, ma chérie!

Amos said...

This one is going to be interesting.

themom said...

Yep, twelve pasty faced men all right. WTF are you doing living in such a prehistoric place? We need to get you into a land much freer and tolerant. I would be "expelled" from Utah upon my first step onto their soil I would imagine.

Utah Savage said...

Now you know why I'm a recluse.

two crows said...

I lived in Kansas City, Missouri for a long, long time.
And, right next to Kansas City is Independence, Missouri. I think it's the 2nd most populated city for Mormons. Their temple is something to behold.

Why it's not a theocracy is beyond me. Or maybe it is and I just missed that memo.

Still, Indep had something going for it -- Truman came from there, after all.

yellowdog granny said...

i read in the DAM News this morning where some yoyo in dallas wants rush limbaugh to move there(he's a neighbor of the xpresident bush)..i thought we have the dumbest people per capital than any other state...after reading this..i stand corrected.

an average patriot said...

Utah
I liked Salt Lake while I was there. I did not mind the way the Church and the State were run. I did not agree with the Religion though and that is why I am an ex Mormon. They finally let me go when face to face one of them found out what kind of an ass hole I was!

Beach Bum said...

Those twelve guys look like they just sneaked out of a strip club.

Utah Savage said...

Hey James, I think when you're male and a member of the cult, your one of the chosen ones. All privileges come to you. Life's sweet in the promised land when you're a member. I've never been a member. I'm female. I don't have a husband and overlord. So... Utah is sweet if you're a believer. This is a theocracy any way you slice. If you like theocracy, believe it's right in it's lawmaking and the way it governs then this tiny world is your oyster. But you'll have trouble finding an ice cold vodka double to slam back with your oysters unless you're eating at home, and you gave the state a big chunk of change to buy you good vodka at a state run liquor store. Just saying it all depends which side of the gender, religion fence on which you stand.

Beach, you are absolutely right. Ever watch the HBO series Big Love? This place is all that and more--crazy weird.

Lisa said...

Living in the South is similar, but Utah definitely has the edge when it comes to blending church and state. I'll never understand it and I'll never like it.

Paul C said...

Utah,

The state of Utah does not sound like a place I'd like to live in.

BTW- I did not know that Mormons, apart from not drinking, also do not smoke or drink tea or coffee.

BTW(2)- I did click "statistics" and, Utah, many of those statistics are quite flattering for the "Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints" people.

Bubs said...

Man, so this is what Mississippi would be like without black people and hot weather?

Utah Savage said...

Hey Bubs, we have hot weather in the summer and snow and deep freezes in the winter. Don't give us too many points for good weather; we don't deserve them.

Wee Mousie said...

Now you're making me feel guilty for ever buying records by The Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

Utah Savage said...

Wee Mousie, we call them the Moron Tab 'n Apple Choir.

susan said...

I shared an office with a young Mormon woman from Utah while she worked to support a husband too lazy to attend his pre-law classes. Naturally, he had enough energy to get her pregnant. When she suffered preclampsia and nearly died his reaction was that he'd have her knocked up again within the year.

That's all I know about Mormons.. except she did tell me about the 'garments'. Then I knew for sure they're a perverse bunch.

Utah Savage said...

Magic underpants is ususally the corker for those who want to believe the Mormons are just another religion. Not so fast... They wear magical underpants. But only if they're "Temple worthy". And they have to get a "recommend" from the Bishop, who is just some guy in the neighborhood who's turn it is to be Bishop. Creepy.

sunshine said...

My sister, her husband and 4 children are Morman and that's all I can handle.
All they EVER talk about is "The Church"!!
I would go insane in Utah.
Give me Cross Dressing/Gay/Beyonce-wannabe .. any day of the week!

Now I feel all angry. My sister.. a university educated woman is so brainwashed! Her husband is a controlling prick!
Ahhh.. okay, I can carry on now...
((hugs))
Laura

Comrade Kevin said...

It's not quite that bad here, thankfully. I'm always thankful for the sizable African-American minority which votes reliably Democratic and often joins up in solidarity with us white liberals.