Wednesday, July 29, 2009

I Woke Up This Morning...

Well, waking up at all could be considered a good start. I let the dogs out and went to the bathroom to pee. As I sat down I felt my legs disconect (in my brain) from my hips. I swear it felt neurological. My legs were useless, like long dangling flipper things, completely useless. When I got over the shock and after I finished peeing, I had to use my arms to get my feet under me. Then I had to use my arms to work my way hand over hand from piece of furniture to piece of furniture to get back to bed. Fuck! Dead legs are a real drag. And I mean that literally.

I was concerned, but it was too early to do anything about it, like call my doctor's office. So I grabbed my sleep mask and tried to still the screaming going on in my mind, and eventually went back to sleep for a second or two. Usually the dogs leave me alone until I open the door and let them back in, but not this morning. Roscoe the big yellow lab positioned himself under the window closest to my bed, and Marley positioned herself under the kitchen window . Roscoe whined like a baby and Marley barked nonstop. I gave up after half an hour of trying to ignore them and found that my legs were working again. Whew! I was so scared for a second I had goosebumps.

There were a lot of things going through my mind during the hour or so I lay there with my eyes closed, blacked-out by my sleep mask. I have a friend with MS, so MS was on my mind. I also considered that it was just a reaction to stress, just a momentary blip on the radar screen of my addled mind. I checked gingerly to see if my legs would propel me to the door to let the dogs in. They did. So now I will need to call my doctor's office and check out this new symptom that is the collection of symptoms that could just be a transient hysterical paralysis, or some other non-serious momentary psychosomatic bit of flotsam from the weird constellation of my many little health issues.

13 comments:

Freida Bee, MD said...

I too have an intermittantly tingling and numb patch on my back that I'm pretty sure is MS, now. Hypochondria and paranoia sucks ass. Sometimes we get scared snough to actually go see a doctor.

Incidentally, my sons just got dropped from their CHIP coverage. After 3 years on it and no change of income on our parts, to our barely paying our rent we should add health insurance for the kids. I am a socialist. No shame in sayin'. Tired of it being a derogatory term. RIck Perry deserves for the state to pay for his medical expenses, but not my Baby Bees. MY ASS!

Utah Savage said...

So Dr Bee, what do you think of the idea of a blogger's commune in Canada, maybe BC? I hear they like us crazy types, especially if we smoke pot (so says Darkblack). So what do you think? It's probably okay to say out loud that we're socialists. I dare not speak the word unless alone.

Beach Bum said...

Speaking the word socialist alone? Yeah, I have too as well. Especially after one of the chief redneck/rightwing nut at work asked me directly if I was a liberal. The funny thing is he structured the question as if it had been some sort of topic of discussion amongst the others of his species. Even funnier was when I answered in the affirmative he replied that he never would have guessed that about me.

I don't directly go around talking politics with the rightwing proles at work. I do speak of it around others who have reveled their political beliefs to me first.

Chief Redneck does and actually goes around proselytizing to anyone who will listen.

Ghost Dansing said...

hmmm..... hope the leg thing goes away.... see if you can dance to this.... i know you can.....

PENolan said...

Jesus Fucking Christ, Utah, this development is alarming.

La Belette Rouge said...

Oh, honey!!! Too damn much shit. Too much. I wish someone would listen to me and stop with the shit already. Isn't it time when good thins happen? I am ready for that for both of us.
Please let us know what the doctor says.
xoxoxo

Gail said...

Hi Utah-

Scary thing, geesh. I so understand. WTF??

I was SO glad to read that your legs came back though. WTF??!!!

Love to you
Gail
peace.....

Utah Savage said...

Well, this little old socialist is going to take herself out of the caregiving game for a bit and care for herself. I will call the doctor and ask about the leg thing. It has unnerved me a bit. I feel echos of it now and then, ghostly reminders that it could all end suddenly, or I could linger in an almost vegetative state for moments on end. I do have a DNR, but I'd so like to publish something before I die. Know what I mean?

And next up, a bit of juvenile humor and musical talent expressed rather strangely. Enjoy.

anita said...

"So now I will need to call my doctor's office and check out this new symptom that is the collection of symptoms that could just be a transient hysterical paralysis, or some other non-serious momentary psychosomatic bit of flotsam from the weird constellation of my many little health issues."

I am going to type this sentence up and put it next to my computer so that I will read it every day and know that I am not alone in my own "weird constellation of many little health issues."

Hope you don't mind. I'll definitely put a "Utah Savage" credit on it. And when it turns into a blockbuster movie, you'll get Executive Producer status and as many points as you want / need.

Sherry said...

take care and take care of yourself!

Madam Z said...

How terrifying that must have been! I will just offer one possible optimistic scenario. Are you absolutely certain you were not asleep and having a dream? I know, you must have been awake when you let the dogs out. But maybe you were so groggy that you went right back to bed and commenced sleeping. I have had many dreams in which I felt paralyzed, e.g. trying to run from an attacker and my legs wouldn't move. It adds to the terror, but is caused by the brain restricting movement while in the sleep mode.

I know this may seem unlikely, but it's worth a ponder, I think. In any event, I wish you well.

Utah Savage said...

Sherry, thanks honey, I will.

Anita, be my guest darling. And I won't be greedy, I promise.

Madame Z, I was peeing. If I'd been dreaming, I'd have awakened in a very wet bed. no I was terrifyingly awake. So far, no repeat.

enigma4ever said...

many hugs friend...we should talk sometime ...yeah..about MS...it sucks..I am sorry you had that experience....

and wow Frieda...so so sorry..that sucks..

hmm a commune in canada....what a great idea...