Monday, July 13, 2009

The Miracle Stress Diet

I'm experiencing an amazing amount of stress for reasons you probably know better than you'd ever want to know and for that I apologize. But for some reason unknown to me my usual good eating habits have gone the way of my once good figure. But now, when I'm forgetting to eat anything before 4 PM, when I'm on my way home from Z's or am running errands, desperately trying to get them done and return home as fast as possible, I crave cake and ice cream. Yes, Doctor Zaius, I'm on the cake and ice cream diet and losing weight. Last night I made carrot cake and when I woke up this morning discovered that I had not just dreamed I ate half a quart of vanilla ice cream and half a warm carrot cake. Now I'll take a vitamin pill, a couple of fish oil capsules and finish off that cake while it's still fresh. The ice cream layered between slices of carrot cake makes the whole thing a healthy treat and not just debauchery. I've lost five pounds in three weeks on this diet. I do vary the type of cake and the flavor of ice cream. I highly recommend this diet. When I fall asleep it's like slipping into a nice warm coma on a cool night.

8 comments:

The Peach Tart said...

Damn Utah...I'm going on that diet. Hang in there honey....you've got a LOT on your plate....

Utah Savage said...

Yes, but it's warm and covered in melting ice cream.

gfid said...

does it work gluten and lactose free?

La Belette Rouge said...

Cake and ice cream diet. Oooh, that sounds good and yet I understand the extreme stress that is required for it to work makes an hour at the gym look like a day at the beach.

Jang-chub Ozer said...

the best remedy for miracle stress is usually a nice warm coma - happiness is a warm coma, or close enough!

themom said...

I just knew there had to be a benefit from my nightly ice cream fix...thanks bunches. Now if I could only get the scales to agree with me. :(

PENolan said...

I hope you're drinking enough coffee or tea in the mornings to make yourself nauseous so you won't get hungry before late afternoon.

Remember: if you do need to eat something during the day, make it chocolate.

Suzan said...

Utah,

I'm getting worried about you again.

Don't forget to check your insulin level from time to time.

Love ya,

S