Saturday, October 3, 2009

Roman Polanski and the Little Girl

I was working for the Fat Bald Jew (that was how he answered his phone-more on him another day) in Denver while my last husband got his PhD at the University of Denver, when Roman Polanski got busted for drugging and raping a thirteen year old girl, whose mother had given permission for her daughter to have a photo session with the famous director. As I recall two other bad boys were on the premises at the time of her rape. I remember both Jack Nickelson and Warren Beatty were there that day. She should have had an adult with her. Notice I do not imply that any of the three men could be called an adult supervisor or agent/parent surrogate. I've never really thought of any of this trio of old bad boys as "adults."

I remember that all of the men I knew at the time, including the Fat Bald Jew and the graduate students at DU who were friends and acquaintances of my last husband, all thought it wasn't rape. "The girl looked at lot older than thirteen." "Her mother gave her consent to the photo session." "Come on now, rape, really?" Yes rape! No one thirteen is capable of giving consent ~ drunk, drugged or sober. There is no place in the United States where getting a thirteen year old drunk and drugged and having sex with her in several orifices is considered okay or legal. If she were your daughter and anyone, famous or not, got her drunk, drugged her and had anal sex with her, would you think it was "not worth prosecuting?" "Her fault?" Or any other bullshit rationalization for giving Polanski a pass? If you answered yes to any of that, you are not fit to be a parent. If, like this girl's mother you gave consent for her to go to Roman Palanski's place for a photo shoot without an adult chaperone, you are not fit to be a parent. But no matter how unfit the thirteen year old's consenting parent was, it isn't her fault Polanski drugged and raped her daughter. It's Roman Polanski's fault and it's illegal anywhere in this country. It's a crime and no matter how it's handled, there will be long lasting consequences for the child, now a mature woman. And there were nude, provocative photos taken. That makes it kiddie porn. So let's all stop bullshitting ourselves as to who's guilty of what. Roman Polanski not only pled guilty, he skipped bail and left our jurisdiction. He should be prosecuted for that. And I don't give a shit how talented or special he is. He's a pedophile in my book.

I had screaming fights with almost every man I knew over this case, when it was everywhere in the news and everyone had an opinion. However, not one of those men was a father of a girl. They argued that because she looked so sexy and mature the crime was maybe not such a bad crime. And they argued that the mother gave consent to the whole thing. They argued that it was a shake-down, that the mother and daughter somehow set the whole thing up to get money from a famous man. I did a lot of screaming of the word "Bullshit!" What was wrong with all those men?

30 comments:

bethany said...

Perfectly said. I am so disappointed in the people signing the petition for this man, just because he's a brilliant director.

He can be guilty and still be a brilliant director.

Everyone is mitigating the circumstances of this crime for two reasons: so much time has passed and the Manson family murders. While I feel sorry for Polanski because his wife and child were tragically and brutally murdered, that doesn't make him any less culpable for a crime he not only committed, but pled GUILTY to.

If the prosectutor's office lied to him about sentencing, that was his and his attorney's fault for believing a prosecutor had the ability to guarantee no jail time. A prosecutor can make a recommendation - not a guarantee...

The only thing I will agree to, though, is that he should be sentenced under 1977 laws for this crime, and not the current ones - and tried separately for fleeing.

There are no petitions floating around for R. Kelly - and he was only accused and eventually found not guilty. Polanski pled guilty - huge difference.

Utah Savage said...

Bethany, thank you. I agree with everything you said. I don't know much about R. Kelly. I don't follow the music scene unless it's Jazz, so I barely know who R Kelly is. But I was in my twenties when Roman raped the 13 year old girl. I was a very pretty little girl and men hit on me all the time when I was 13. I felt great empathy for that child. And I felt great contempt for the men who identified with Roman and gave themselves a pass.

Dusty said...

All those sick fuckwits in Hell-A that are coming to his defense make me very angry.

CDP said...

well said. He's had a tragic life in many ways, but there's no way that that wasn't rape. No 13 year old is capable of "consenting" to sex with a grown man.

darkblack said...

I'm dismayed at the number of otherwise intelligent people who state that the acts performed were 'consensual'.
Both California state law and the victim's own testimony put the lie to that casual acceptance of perversion.

Hollywood elites in their lofty isolation are poor arbiters of taste in this regard.
Polanski has no acceptable excuses for either his crime or his evasion of justice, and should be returned to the U.S.

sunshine said...

I agree with everything you said.
He's a jackass that should be thrown in jail.
I don't give a crap if he's "somebody" or not. If that was me, I would have been hung out to dry and NOBODY would care.
Mr. Polanski, either come back and do your time or else stop trying to get back into the States. We all get it that you like to see your name in the papers every once in awhile...

((Hugs))
Laura

Gail said...

HI UTAH-

I "Ditto" every word you wrote. He should be prosecuted to the full extent that the law allows and then some. It is never to late for justice to be served!!!

Love to you
Gail
peace.....

MRMacrum said...

Maybe I am odd, but even back then I considered what Polanski did was rape. He should have paid for his crime then. And whatever happens now, any feeling of justice served i slost becaus ehe was allowed to live the meat of his life uninterrupted. That incident always pissed me off.

Jack Jodell said...

I wonder if Polanski was always so whacked out, or if the Manson family's murder of his pregnant wife Sharon Tate pushed him over the edge 40 years ago?

Stella by Starlight said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Fran said...

Back in the day, they were still embracing that attitude of making the victim at fault...
what was SHE wearing (to invite rape?)
what were HER actions?

A 13 year old is a child, certainly not in a position to "consent".... especially if she was compromised with drugs and alcohol-- but even if she was not... that was no excuse.
that parent assumed she was with responsible adults..... never granted permission to rape her daughter.

Nobody is above the law-- especially in this kind of crime, that impacted & changed that girl's life forever.

Utah Savage said...

Thank you all for showing up and commenting. I've been missing in action for awhile. But this particular issue hits very close to home for me.

I have never been able to tell a man about what happened to me in my childhood that I didn't hear something like this: "It happened a long time ago. Forget it and move on with your life. Why do you dwell on it. It's too late for justice." And so I feel a special kinship to that girl who is now a woman, and I'd bet a troubled woman.

It has only been in writing about my childhood as fiction that I've found men who not only understood my pain, but had probably experienced something similar and were capable of writing sensitively about it. MrMACrumb is one such man. I don't mean that I know anything about his childhood, but I do mean that he is capable of empathy and expressing it. I find that rare in a man, and I greatly appreciate it.

Utah Savage said...

Stella, BBC has been stalking me but has shortened his idiot rants to "You're full of shit and silly and I solve all my problems by camping." I just find him pathetic and not very smart. Sometimes I leave his comment for others to see and think,"What a jerk."

Stella by Starlight said...

You are right, Utah. I apologize for my idiot rant.

Jang-chub Ozer said...

Polanski is a serial offender - he did Natasha Kinski (he calls her "Nasty" for short) when she was about 15.He did have a talk with her parents about her 'career' at some point.

Nan said...

Polanski's defenders are still doing it -- blaming the victim, referring to her as a "baby whore," and saying she looked seductive. Polanski in his own words defended himself by saying "everyone wants to fuck little girls." He's definitely one sick bastard and no doubt a serial predator.

There does seem to be a general sense among way too many men that women are "asking for it" through the simple act of breathing. Doesn't matter what the age or how the woman is dressed, she's asking for it merely by possessing an orifice the rapist views as fuckable. I'm not sure if things have improved or not over the past 30 years -- maybe the fact we're actually talking about it now and calling men on their bullshit is a sign of progress. I can hope. . .

Sherry said...

you said it far better than i could.

jadedj said...

You'll get no such bullshit statements from this man, me. I have always thought Polanski was a sleeze, and the very idea that he should not pay for his actions, is beyond shameful.

I even saw one comment on another blog, which stated that the victim had forgiven him, and so should we. Actually I believe what she said was, it had haunted her all of her life, and she just wants it to go away. Nevertheless, it is not her decision to make...he did the crime (actually two crimes, since fleeing justice is a also a crime) and his sorry ass needs to pay.

His films, his career, his so-called brilliance, the murder of his wife, has NOTHING to do with this issue. IT WAS RAPE, FOLKS. No mitigating circumstances. No consenting ADULT issues. RAPE...pure and simple.

And yes, this is the opinion of a father of a twelve year old daughter. However, I would be of this opinion even if I weren't.

anita said...

i totally agree with you on this one, utah. you stated it all so very well. and this is the first i heard of nicholson and beatty having been there. i always thought polanski was alone with the girl. if it is true the others were there, shouldn't there be some charge against them, as in aiding and abetting a rape? sick, sick, sick. all of them.

and why is the girl, obviously a woman now, defending him? all the 'talking heads' say it's because she was 'bought off.' i think it's probably more like she was so traumatized by the incident that she is blocking it out. that's all i can come up with.

jadedj said...

Everyone, check out this latest L.A. Times article:

http://www.reuters.com/article/mediaNews/idUSN0335497720091003

The Peach Tart said...

Utah. I couldn't have said it better. He's a sleeze. The girl's mother is a scum bag. It's just a bad situation all the way around for that poor 13 year old girl who was forced to grow up way too fast.

Jaliya said...

Hollywood's a whooole different world, isn't it? Why would that hyper-sexualized culture feel any alarm at men bedding pubescent girls? Anyone remember the movie "Pretty Baby" that starred 10-year-old Brooke Shields as a child prostitute?

I remember myelf as a 13-year-old -- I'm skipping into a formal dining room at a posh hotel in my brand-new crushed-velvet dress (c.1972!). This party -- for my 13th birthday -- is the biggest night of my life; so I skip, I bounce, I sashay; I beam with vitality and excitement -- AND I'M A KID. No 13-year-old is anywhere NEAR ready for adult sex. (((shudder)))

I feel huge heart for any girl who is taken in, taken up and taken over. Taken, of course, with force.

@Jack -- You certainly have a point; I wonder that myself. I can't imagine ever recovering from having my family slaughtered. Who knows what any of us would be capable of in the derangement that can follow such a loss. Whatever we do, though, we're accountable for. And NOTHING excuses sexual assault.

Those of us who survive it are haunted, as you wrote, jadedj.

Thanks, Utah, for your ferocious insight; nothing like calling a spade a spade -- or in this case, calling a rape a rape.

Utah Savage said...

Every one of you has had something important to say about this topic. I hope you can continue this discussion in conversations in your real lives and on your blogs. Lib has posted a petition to counter the petition the Hollywood types have going in support of Polanski. This public support for Polanski sends a message to millions of potential molesters of little girls that the elite, smart, talented people understand that it's okay to fuck little girls. This can't stand without very honest protest from women and men who know what the cost is to the victims of childhood molestation and rape.

La Belette Rouge said...

Thank you for your voice, your outrage and for your strength. I'd say more and yet I am a bit bowled over by how reading your piece has touched me. Thanks, Utah.xo

cARTHAN said...

I have a huge family with lots of teens and children. I want to say with 100% certainty that none of them have ever been threatened or harmed by an adult, but, I can't. They are everywhere. I don't have children but I have worked with and volunteered my time for children. I am sorry you went through what you did. I am sorry for any child who looses an innocence that can never be replaced. Thank you for sharing. I'll remember

Mountjoy said...

Amen, Utah!

Lass. said...

You nailed it, woman. I can't imagine what kind of twisted logic one would have to employ to convince oneself that what Polanski did was okay...or even "not that bad". Ugh.

Non Je Ne Regrette Rien said...

this subject has been alternately avoided and excruciatingly examined by me in recent days. as the victim of a pedophile, I agree with much of what you and your readers have written. as the mother of both a son and a daughter, I also know the lack of innocence and naivété in many of our young women / girls. society, ridiculously oblivious or unattached parents and accelerated puberty have conspired to turn many girls into pseudo-women/lolitas in record speed.

that in no way obviates responsibility for adult males (or females, for that matter) to respect the literal ages of youth...regardless of the various masks of adulthood, sexuality and/or experience reflected in these generations of non-childlike children.

does that make any sense? see I'm torn between knowing that 13 year old girls can possess the bodies of consenting adults and the will to consent forcefully (not, however, what I understand the facts of this particular case to be) and also knowing that grooming, abuse, emotional vacuity, and peer pressure can drive that will.

so it is up to the adults to be adults and think beyond their genitals. pretty simple, really.

Utah Savage said...

JNRR You have stated it very accurately. Consent from a 13 year old no matter what she looks like is not legal nor consent.

Bubs said...

You wouldn't have had an argument with me. Polanski needs to be brought back to serve his time.

Would all these people who defend him be doing the same if he'd been "father" Polanski accused of the same conduct?