Monday, November 16, 2009

In the Era Post Stupak

People tell me they see my writing about the child abuse in my life, plus the grisly aftermath as "courageous" but I think of it as therapy. Once told, the story is no longer inside, it's out there, and some of the pain gets exorcised in the telling. They can post with a pseudonym or as anonymous. But telling is powerful for the teller and the reader.

I'd like to ask women to delve into their most painful past and share that story with all of us. This is no small job. But from the comments on my posts about abortion so far, that's where the real story is, it's there in the reaction to another woman's story. No one ever makes the decision to abort easily or without compelling reasons. Out of maybe forty comments I've had only one person call me a woman who would choose to murder another person for my convenience. Only one person talked to me about my committing the "ultimate sin." Only one person equated the fetus with the adult woman and said the fetus had the same right to life as I, but thought that the doctors who authorized and performed the procedure should have been jailed. That was one comment out of forty or more. So, how courageous is it to talk about the intensely personal? Is talking honestly with a therapist courageous? No one sits across my desk as I talk here and asks me questions.

If someone comes to my blog to insult and harass me, my first impulse is to try to reason with them or suggest I might not be their cup of tea. And in the end, I can shitcan their comments, or on twitter I can block their access to me. This is my free speech zone and I choose to express myself in this way. If I'm enraged by the Stupak Amendment, this is why. I can't say what it means to you, but I can warn you as one who lived my reproductive years in the era of the Comstock Laws, in the time before Roe v. Wade, what it will be like in the era post Stupak.

Statistics bore most of us, but if you want to know what it was like for women who lived in the era pre Roe v. Wade, you'll get an inkling when you read the comments from my three pieces on the subject.


Fran said...

There is no doubt going backwards w the Stupak amendment is a fatal blow to women's health & reproductive rights.
As for those who judge, they are probably the types who like to quote the bible out of context to fit their warped agenda.
Truth is the big picture scenario is *Judge not*.... because nobody but you walked in your shoes. Nobody but you knew what the right decision was.
The thing about the extreme fundies is they are "pro life" for the having of babies only.
Beyond that, you are on your own.... no health care, stingy welfare (always more month than money), and a true sense that you have to fend for yourself.
I never hear of stories of fundies doing volunteer sick child babysitting time, so a single parent does not have to choose between caring for their child or losing their job (the corporate world can be pretty heartless).
They are nto stepping up to pay for medicines, or procedures, or shoring up the rent or bills for shelter or heat.

None of that. It's all about having the babies,
And as far as I can tell those pro lifers have no problem sending kids off to wars of choice either. What does that make them pro choice war mongers? I'm just saying there is a very shallow hypocrisy in that crowd that makes no sense to me.

If they are not going to step up, I wish they'd shut up.

Gamma said...

The pro-life label is a misnomer. That group couldn't give a rat's ass about life. What they care about is control and self-righteousness and taking any tack that will make their miserable selves feel superior.

But most of all, they are anti-woman and anti-sex. But "pro?" Don't make me laugh.

It is a heartache that we are moving so far backward in time, that women are losing control over their bodies and their reproductive lives. Young women don't understand what it was, they think they can take it for granted that abortion will always be there, so they can claim the mantle of pro-choice and think they're helping. Well, forget that.

Being pro-choice is like voting for Nader--you take support away from the real candidate and clear the way for the opposition. If you don't want an abortion, don't have one, nobody will force you. Just do reproductive rights a favor and keep your mouth shut about it.

Nobody gives a shit if you'll have one or not. What's the point of saying that? You won't choose it for yourself, but you won't deny it to other women. Wow. Thank you so much.

We have to have the courage to fight for abortion, not choice, because if we lose access to safe and legal abortion, we have no choice.

Madam Savage, I applaud you. Keep telling your truth...I know it will make a difference.

enigma4ever said...

I mostly read your know that ...but you raise an interesting point here...( I know I need to come here more)...and the two commenters it really is about LIFE..and fundies have not a clue what they are talking about...

and yes all women have stories...

some more painful than others...

and none of us wants to relive the 60's or the 70s;....I don't.,..

Kulkuri said...

Back in the 90's I was working with a bunch of right-wingnuts and I told one old (so-called pro-life) fart that he had more compassion for a wad of come in some broad's twat than he did for a living, breathing human being because he was also pro-capital punishment. He was all for killing criminals as quickly as possible. (He also thought the politicians weren't paid enough and cops, firefighters and teachers were paid too much, but that's another rant.)

What I'm afraid of is that those who support the Stupak amendment in Congress will kill the healthcare bill if it ain't in there and that will cause a bunch of Dems to lose next year because they can't get anything done!! If they can't get something passed, anything, then all incumbents should be voted out of office!! Especially the ones with a "R" after their name.

MadMike said...

Utah if you really want to get your back up see my post from yesterday concerning the Republican National Committee. They pay for abortions. It is an unbelievable read. The party of "abstinence" paying for abortions. It is part of their policy.

Spadoman said...

This one says it all:

As a human being, I say it's a persons right to choose whatever it is. Abortion, to smoke, to drink, to sky dive, to ride a motorcydle at 130, to do whatever.

As a man, I have no idea and therefore leave it to the woman of the species to decide what they want, or have to, do with their bodies.

I appreciate your openness. I also agree that you are right on when you say that to write it, or speak it, it cleanses.