Wednesday, December 2, 2009

It's Prostate, Not Prostrate

Men have quite complicated plumbing. Some men get breast cancer. Yes, I know. It seems so unfair that your flabby little man boobs can have all the same bad things happen to them as your wife/girlfriend's lovely plump breasts, but bad things can happen to man boobs too. Then think of all the complicated parts of a penis. What about your prostate? Ignore your throbbing prostate and you may end up prostrate. How are your Seminal Vesicles? I capitalize that because if those puppies go south you'll be in a world of hurt. I know. I was married to a man who had seminal vesicle problems. He was constantly in the hospital in agonizing pain. Men have a trickier relationship with their colons than women, statistically speaking, and they tend to wait longer than women to go to a doctor when they do have problems. Men are touchy about their nether-regions and not in a good way. I've known a lot of men and they all had a horror of having their bummy holes looked at. Just saying.

19 comments:

Lisa said...

Well, first the title made me giggle. Then the whole approach cracked me up. I know, I know, you're not necessarily aiming for funny, but still.

And finally, this does NOT help. I had a sex ed teacher with a lateral lisp. Now, I'm not one to enjoy making fun of the way people talk with speech impediments, but do this - say Vas Deferens with a lateral lisp. Go ahead. See if you can keep a straight face.

sunshine said...

Haha! Very good Utah! Well ..umm..put. :)

((Hugs))
Laura

Vigilante said...

Not a funny topic.....

Steve said...

yes we men are weird about that but thanks for the post because it reminds me as I near 50 it is getting to that time to get the bummyhole checked out

Oso said...

Utah,

Part of our problem,is that we're idiots.

Not that you guys aren't stupid too,in your own way.

Destruction derby, idiotic video games, macho cars and car chases and road rage,punching holes in walls,refusing to go to the doctor till we got to be hauled to the emergency - we're far ahead in the idiocy derby.

Beach Bum said...

I've known a lot of men and they all had a horror of having their bummy holes looked at. Just saying.

Had a colonoscopy several years ago after an occurrence that put me in the emergency room. On the day of the procedure I finally saw the "probe" and literally started screaming: "KNOCK ME OUT, DAMMIT!"

They did, but the last thing I remember was hearing about someone nearby rolling off their bed cause of what I said.

Maggie May said...

I'm here from Le Rouge and loving your words. Hello.

Utah Savage said...

Thank you all for showing up.
Lisa, you are right. Cant be said without laughing.

Vig, sorry if I touched a sore spot. I know it isn't funny, but without writing it as if it were, I got your attention. Cancer is no joke. Neither is pain that goes untreated. I have a friend in a nursing home because he let pain go on too long. He's forty five.

Beach, glad they knocked you out. I got versed when they did my colonoscopy. Loved it. Colon clean enough to... Can't think of anything that wouldn't make it dirty again.

darkblack said...

'Bummy hole'...?

What does your editor say about using such complicated medical jargon in such a folksy, homespun blog as this, Utah?

;>)

Utah Savage said...

Darkblack, I have no excuse at all.

Spadoman said...

Haven't got the man boobs yet. So far, the chest is still solid and strong. Behind the hair lies the problems. Heart disease. 6 heart attacks and two open heart bypass surgeries since 1985.
I watch my 9 year old Grandson pee and he's got a stream that will knock out Mrs' O'leary's fire. He's done in about 20 seconds. Me, I'm on gravity feed. Takes me three minutes to empty the bladder, yet the PSA is very low. The doc hasn't put on the gloves in a while though, and he wants me to finish those stool cards.
yes, cancer is a real deal. Thanks for the awareness.

Peace to all.

prostatestimulationblog said...

we tend to wait longer than women to go to a doctor when we have problems. of course it it.and in converse,women go to a doctor with such little problem,just like my girlfriend

Kulkuri said...

Prostate cancer usually grows so slowly that most guys would die from something else first. Most cases the complications from treatment for the cancer are worst than living with it.

So far, so good, low PSA and doc says the prostate feels good, but not so much for me.

Vigilante said...

Live strong, Spadoman & Kulkuri.

Utah Savage said...

I'm proud to know such open and honest men. Glad my not very funny post got you to stop and talk about your health. And your stopping and talking with one another and me had made me feel closer to you again. I've missed you guys. Plus you set a good example for the younger guys who haven't said anything but might yet.

Jack Jodell said...

Some guys ARE squeamish about prostate exams, but I'm not one of them. I always figure I'm the 10,000th patient the doc has seen that year, so what's the diff? It's kinda like it's always the loudest, toughest-acting wrestlers or lumberjack types who are the biggest fainters when it comes to shots. Get with the program, guys!

Comrade Kevin said...

Not this one.

Freida Bee, MD said...

I have an uncle dying from colon cancer. "Tis a shame he didn't take his sisters' advice sooner, 'cause I'm gonna miss him.

(I love the grammatical lesson. ;)

Faded said...

We will all die when we die. From my experiences with those who "practice" medicine, I'll worry not about finding cancer in time to poison myself with radiation in the hopes that it weakens my body just enough to kill what is killing me.

Fear not death, it is but the end.