I vote yes on this one. It is an indication of character. I know people, mostly men I have to admit, who have convinced their mates to engage in “open” marriages. I have always wondered why these people decided to get married in the first place. If you want to screw around, why not stay single? What’s in it for the women? I suppose if your husband is stinking rich, and you enter into a marriage with an iron-clad prenuptial agreement that he will pay you for giving him the illusion of respectability that marriage confers in certain types of professions, then that’s your business—business being the operative word. But if you are a politician, get your wild oats days firmly in your past before you ask us to trust you.
If you will lie to your wife, you will certainly lie to me. If you cheat your family, squander the kids college fund to pay for high priced hookers, you will lie to me and foolishly spend my tax dollars. It goes to character. It goes to accountability. If you believe the rules don’t apply to you because you’re so damn special, become a hedge-fund manager.
Monday, March 24, 2008
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15 comments:
Somewhere between Monica's blue dress and the pardon of Marc Rich (was that his name?) I split with Bill Clinton. He stopped being 'Bill' and started being 'Bubba'. Prior, I believed he could cheat on Hillary and it was her problem, not mine. But when he lied to me, he made it my problem.
If I were a New Yorker, I wouldn't have a problem with Governor & Ms Patterson. I haven't followed it too closely, but nothing I've picked up on the fly amounts to a 'scandal'.
"picked up on the fly"?
Petrosexual, if you can't give us a paragraph, give it up. Your cryptic phrases are lacking in substance. Step up to the plate. Act like a grown-up and talk to us in complete sentences, please. Otherwise go play with the children.
Vigilante, Just this morning there is a report that now the new Gov. is admitting to pot and cocaine use in his "youth." I am still living in my youth, so I have to wonder what that means. At the very least, it''s a distraction from the business of running the state of New York. Jon Stewart is doing a nigtly piece called "The Govs. must be Horny." It's a box with the USA done like an Advent Calender, he opens up a state, pops the piece of chocolate in his mouth and then reads the little piece about the horny behavior of that states Gov. Very funny, but looking a little too true.
Ha! Good one, Utah. Gonna step up to the plate, petro?
Like Vig, I wouldn't have a problem with Governor and Ms. Patterson's sex life. It's none of my business, and they stated they had an open marriage.
I didn't have a problem with Clinton's Monica tryst, but he ruined himself by lying. Why didn't he just come out and say, "So what? This issue concerns my wife and I." Even if they did "not" have sex in the Oval Office, I would have to wonder how many people wish they could.
Further, if Patterson used coke and pot... well, after all, it was the 70s and early 80s. Who didn't? Patterson demonstrated more integrity than Clinton, who said he never inhaled.
Frankly, I'd rather go back to Utah's righteously and rightfully scathing comment about Hillary Rotten "standing by her man." I lost all respect for her, too. I just don't trust the Clintons. Period. It has a lot more to do with their endless prevaricating (anyone see hear the Bosnia speech and hear the video) than sex.
If people want to screw around, in or out of office, so what? Powerful men have done so for countless generations. FDR had a mistress, and so did LBJ. Yet, Johnson signed more civil rights legislation into action than any other president. FDR brilliantly maneuvered us out of a depression in part by starting the WPA.
Whether or not their wives knew doesn't not change the fact that FDR and LBJ accomplished great strides in civil and social justice.
As a liberal, I will not judge other people's sex lives, whether or not they're in office. Yes, women usually lose, but that's not my decision.
However, I will say this: if it happens in my house... well, then it's my business. I agree with you, though, Utah, on one point: if you want to screw around, why not stay single? Never could figure that one out.
If we wait around for someone to be squeaky clean, no one will govern anything. If we expect a man in a powerful position and money to spare to not cheat on his wife, we will never have anyone to govern. We had a really nice guy once... remember him... Gore... now, I don't know if he never cheated on his wife, but I would venture to guess he comes about as close to honorable in that dept as one gets, and all he got for it was being called "wooden," "robotic" and got an election stolen from him for being so nice.
Even though it was not my business, I have to say I was impressed that Governor Paterson and his wife came clean about all their private activity so as to not be blackmailed or have it used against them.
I would really like it if men (and women) respected each other and themselves enough not to cheat, but for the final time (from me), it's not my business. If I could pick between two carbon copies of a good candidate and one of them did not cheat, sure, I would pick that guy, but none of us will never really know who does and who does not... and I refuse to play into the job those in the media have taken upon themselves.... to find out what is NOT my business.
I hate being placed in a position to stand up for Bill and his philandering ways, Vigilante, but the "lying" he did... come on... he did it because it was NONE of our damned business and because the media and the conservative "wrong" spent every second of their lives drudging up all they could and never ever let it go.
Do I like that he lied... no, but if he had never been asked (which he should never have been), he never woulda lied. Would you tell the truth?
K, welcome back. All Bill had to do is say, "It's nobodies business but my own." Instead he chose to lie to everybody. But I do have a problem with a powerful man in any position having a sexual relationship with a very young person working in his sphere of power. That is sexual abuse. That is criminal behavior. It's at the very least incredibly bad judgement. Reckless, a little bit crazy, given the circumstances and the place. I think Bill should take up skydiving and Hillary should divorce him. And even so I kinda like him.
Beautiful, K! Hey, Utah, I didn't know one of your favorite books was A Modest Proposal. Ever read Tale of a Tub? It makes no sense whatsoever and is one of the most incisive writings about religious practice (vs. religion) that I've ever read.
Haven't read Tale of a Tub. I have recently been visited by a young friend from New York and have been left with a reading list. She is like a daughter to me, very smart, started her own Production company in the big time world of high fashion in Manhatten. Her book recommends are Mating In Captivity by Esther Perel and The Brain That Changes Itself by, Norman Doidge, M.D. But I'm Still working on The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf. When I wright I tend not to read. So when I go silent, I'll probably be reading a book or two a day. Sounds delicious, doesn't it?
Stella. Pardon me, I meant...when I write...
Sorry
K. That was a brilliant piece of writing and I agree completely. As to Bill Clinton I would rather have a president who played with young ladies in the White House than a president who played war with young soldiers in Iraq. I disagree that Monica was so young Wild Bill's behavior was criminal. She was well over eighteen. Like Vigil I didn't like that he lied but we are all of us inclined to self-protection. In reality everyone lies and everyone masturbates at one time or another. That is just the nature of the beast.
If you employ a female person of any age and then have sex with her, she is a victim of the disparity in power and is not an equal, and so you as her de facto employer are using your power and position in a way that makes you an abuser of power. Even if the female in this situation is the aggressor, still, as her employer she is off limits. Yes, I'm all for masturbation. It should always be the first choice for politicians who want to have sex with interns. There are other options for a horny president. I'm all for legalizing prostitution. Bill could have chosen to watch a little internet porn, or had sex with a female friend who did not work in the White House. Or, gasp, maybe his wife. Bad judgement is the name of the game with the Clintons.
Again... I SO do not want to be the protector of men who should just go lock themselves up in a bathroom and stroke it, but Utah, its not as simple as you make it out to be. And, I could get into a long essay here on how Clinton getting involved with a real live woman demonstrates less hostility and disrespect for women in general than if I knew he sat in the Oval office entranced by the degradation of porn--but alas, that is another argument for another time)...
Yes, to us, looking in, he should never have abused that power. But what happens between two people when no one is watching... well, we are not there... so we don't know. Most relationships, even uneven, unbalanced ones are nuanced and complex. How do we know they might not have had real affection for one another. It happens... lonely people find one another and connect. Its not always perfectly balanced power structures and singletons etc.
If I thought Bill was some rapist... or even used his power to coerce others, I would be the first person to wipe my hands of him (not his wife though--he is not her and she is not him), but I really truly see Bill (in his private sexual life) as some poor sap who is emotionally and physically stunted and needy. If anything, I think Monica, smitten, made some serious moves, hell bent on carving out some sort of relationship with Clinton. I think she "needed" it and I think he did too.
It is no one's "fault" but Bill and Monica's, but who am I or who is anyone else to judge them?
I feel awful for Chelsea and Hillary, but I also know that there are countless nuances to this thing that none of us can know or should really even contemplate--ITS NONE OF OUR FUCKING BUSINESS. His family forgave him so why are we even discussing it anymore?
Now, in case anyone is about to trounce on what I just said about Monica, let me say that I do not blame or dislike her in any capacity. Again, the only two people who have any right to be injured or act self righteous in ANY of this is Bill's daughter and his wife. I felt really sorry for Monica. The media tore her, Bill, and Hillary a new asshole over all this and it was all so disgusting.
It baffles me that we all sit here all these years later... people hungry, homeless, uninsured, battle scarred and dead at home and abroad... and we still give two shits about what went on between a man and a woman. Its surreal. And from democrats no less....
Ditto to the baffled part.....
K, Jimmy Carter was also that kind of nice guy.
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