Monday, July 14, 2008

Moving Day

Just when I'm getting comfortable with my cozy little place here in the intertubes, my Administrator tells me I need to go public. WTF? I thought this was public.. But no. Not public enough for my Administrator. He has faith in me. Why, you might ask? I'm not really sure, because he hasn't read my "fiction," doesn't read "poetry," and isn't terribly interested in politics--my bread and butter, or cornbread and cantaloupe, to be more accurate. When we were first getting to know each other, in the way one gets to know someone you've never actually seen, I decided to share with him one of my "Aging Barbie" pieces--he hated it. I mean really hated it. He thought I was so full of shit. We argued about it for days.

Another thing he hated about my writing was my "over use of the expletive." He said something like, "You're a better writer than that; you don't need that." Well, honestly, I can barely write a sentence without the swear words. I thought it would be like writing wearing a straightjacket. I should have said, "You hate what I write, how can you say I'd be a better writer?" Well, it turns out, he doesn't really hate how I write, so much as he hates what I write about. "There's a difference?" Yes, Dorothy, there is a difference.

Here's another thing about my relationship with my Administrator--in his world, I'm so dumb, most of the time I have absolutely no idea what he's talking about. ULR? This means something? Some of your sites require registering, and still I don't know how to type my ULR thingy into the required field. I think at Unconventional Conventionist, it still says in my ULR field, "what the fuck's a ULR?" Maybe at Jonestown, too. So, have I come a long way, baby? Not really. Seven months into this adventure and I still don't know what any of the serious smart blogger things are, or how to do them. I can write my daily post, but unlike the rest of you blogging artists, I can't illustrate it, or drop in the perfect clip, or link it, to back up what I say with source material, or photoshopped images, or music clips. I'm an amateur when it comes to the tricks of the trade, and many of you have tried to help me. I thank you all for your generosity and kindness, but I'm the sort of woman who hasn't read instructions since I stopped taking tests in college. So, to translate words in an email into performing a trick like the strike-through, is like pulling a rabbit out of a hat--beats me how it's done. But I do appreciate the magic of it all.

The loveliest thing about my Administrator is his generosity and patience. He has come to understand the way my brain works and doesn't work. Certain things, I'll probably never quite understand. But the beauty of having someone like my Administrator, is that when I'm stuck, and my brain is bipolarly scrambled, he just comes over to my side of the screen and does it for me. Sometimes we Ichat. Sometime we chat voice to voice, and sometimes he just comes right over to my side and takes over the controls and does it for me, while I sit back and watch. Magic! It's nothing short of Magic to me. My dog, Cyrus, thinks my computer is a person, since I spend some time talking to it everyday, and it talks back to me. Roscoe, who I babysit most days, thinks we have been invaded by the invisible man, and barks ferociously when Phillip comes in to talk with me, and has to be put outside for the duration.

All this to simply say, I am now at netvibes. This is an "rssfeed," whatever that means. Nice thing about the new sites, is that they all lead back home, where I'm just getting cozy. But now I'm building a real identity at Face Book, using my real name and all--scary stuff. He insists I should have a My Space page--I thought My Space was for teenagers, but no, Martin Scorsese is there. Who knew? So netvibes it is. Look out world, here I come! Thank god no one can see me.

30 comments:

Freida Bee said...

I'll be your friend on Facebook and MySpace. Just give us the links. Uhhh.

Somehow, I'm going to help you know how to put a link in a post. I think I had an idea.

(And yes, I need to finish my story. Thanks for the reminder.)

(Of course, you know I'm gonna ask... Is Phillip cute?)

Utah Savage said...

Oh yeah, Phillip is cute, and single, and smart, and not afraid to make fun of me. But even when he's making fun of me, I still adore him. I even invited him to move to Salt Lake and live in the big house with the lovely Melea, but he chose to stay in San Francisco. It is my favorite big American city, but still, he could be living in my bucolic little paradise. And since his work can be done anywhere... Oh well. Here's my new site. We, or rather, he's still working on it but this is the http thingy: http://www.netvibes.com/utahsavage

Unconventional Conventionist said...

When you go public, how much will your shares of stock cost? :)

Anita said...

wow. you're lucky to have your Administrator. he seems very kind.

i have a facebook page, too. hope we can be friends when you get up and running with it. i changed to that from myspace because, well, i kind of hated myspace. not entirely sure why.

anyway, what i like about facebook is that my sisters and my brother are there, and we do goofy (and yes, dorky) stuff like play word games such as scrabulous and word twist. my sister is on vacation in ireland right now and she's been posting some AMAZING photos from her trip. every day we get an update. plus, i've found couple of really, really old friends from high school there, which was pretty cool and nice to catch up with them after so many years.

oh, i haven't shared my blog with my family ... i have in the past, but not on this go round ... so if we link up via facebook, no mention of my blog !!! LOL.

;)

Utah Savage said...

Probably about half a cent. Smartass!

Utah Savage said...

Ouch, not you Anita, the Unconventional one is the samrtass.

D.K. Raed said...

I don't even know what half of that "going public" stuff means, but if you keep your blog here, I'll find you wherever you are. Maybe you can even link your Facebook/etc sites here on your blog. You ARE keeping this blog, aren't you?

Utah Savage said...

Yes, god yes. I have too few friends as it is. If I quit blogging it would be because I died or went under with a depression--my shrink keeps close tabs on my moods, so... I'm not going anywhere.

sitenoise said...

"Another thing he hated about my writing was my "over use of the expletive.""


Fuck that. I think you use it wrongly from time to time, ambienting your missives with weakness instead of strength.

Utah Savage said...

The man himself speaks, and does it well-- certainly better than I.

SaoirseDaily2 said...

I know what you mean about reading. I am the same way when the beading addiction strikes. I get designs in my mind and cannot concentrate on anything else until I create what I've been thinking about.

As always, enjoyed reading your posts.

DivaJood said...

What? Does it involve packing, and boxes? What will you do with your swamp cooler thingie?

Dr. Zaius said...

"ULR"? Do you mean URL? I am here on myspace, but I never go there. I can't figure out how it works. I'm such an old coot!

Nan said...

I am relieved to learn I'm not the only one who is baffled by a lot of the bells and whistles a person can use to jazz up a blog. I'm still figuring how to get the spacing right between paragraphs, and it always takes me multiple tries to add photos and get them positioned more or less where I'd like them in relation to the text.

DCup said...

I'd keep that Administrator if I were you. And you can have MathMan on loan when I'm not around as long as you promise to leave him in the same condition you found him. Or better.

Beach Bum said...

One night in a motel room attending a work related class in Atlanta I started screwing around with the HTML code on my old blog. Why was I screwing around with my HTML code on my old blog? Well I couldn't find any lady to do it with instead. But anyway, I'm not going to even try and add any more bells and whistles unless Blogger holds my hand. I was lucky to save my posts on my old blog.

Vigilante said...

Yes, Zaius, Utah can't even get the acronym right. It's URL for Uniform Resource Locator. We still love you, with or without your URL!

Utah Savage said...

Vig, so kind of you. I miss you. I'm either off topic or having a cat fight. But you stay right on topic all the time. It''s why we love you.

Utah Savage said...

And isn't it nice to know that when I finally do get set up on face book and myspace I'll have friends. At least Anita and Freida and Dr.Zaius will talk to me.

Diva, me thinks you have designs on my swamp cooler thingie.

BBC said...

Another thing he hated about my writing was my "over use of the expletive."

Well there you go, fuck him, he thinks at different and more boring levels than you do.

I'm not interested in My Space and I've always been up front about who and what I am and posted plenty of pictures of me.

My Space, Blogger, what in the hell difference does it make?

sitenoise said...

Blogger BBC said...
"Well there you go, fuck him, he thinks at different and more boring levels than you do."

Wow, you're right! That's some exciting prose, limp dick.

Utah Savage said...

Finally at last, Someone tell it like it is.

Utah Savage said...

If LOL weren't so offensive to me, I be LOLing all over the place. My Administrator speaks. And in his real voice, too. I know it so well. What a comfort to know you're there. And even when I'm too addled to work, you are still at it.

DivaJood said...

Well, it has been warm in California. A swamp cooler thingie might help.

Utah Savage said...

God, I think you're all so funny. It must be the drugs.

Vigilante said...

Utah, I long to get off-topic. Political conditions being what they are, I don't often feel I can afford that luxury. What I like about your site is that (a) you concede the primacy of politics:

"I believe everything is political, even a trip to the grocery store is political. All the choices we make and the things we say and do are all expressions of our political beliefs...."

But you also get off-topic and non-political. Beach does that well, too, I might add. Both of you are real writers which your readers have caught in your act of being born.

I thought of you both when I read Arianna Huffington this morning Remembering her late father-in-law.

You both can do that. Even now.

Utah Savage said...

Oh Vig, you have never paid me a more lovely compliment. Thank you dear. I do agree that Beach is a wonder to read. I love his journey into the personal, interior man. So few men give us this glimpse of their inner lives, their souls as it were.

Randal Graves said...

Facebook? Myspace? You sellout!

And you swear because you feel the story requires it. I'm always fucking swearing on the internets and in real life, but I rarely do when I write. Write what you feel, other fuckers be goddamned.

LOL.

Scarlet W. Blue said...

No, no, no, no.... Don't stop being yourself! I couldn't bear it!

S E E Quine said...

` I hate MySpace, though Weird Al and other musical deviants are my 'friends'. So what does that mean, when people are 'friends' on MySpace, I wonder` "Hi, I've never met you, but would you like to link to my page?"

` By the way... ULR? LOL! Okays, I stop now.