Thursday, October 16, 2008

Debate Notes

The Great White Hope is a grumpy old man, lurching and erratic. McCain blusters, sputters "Fanny Freddy Mac is the reason for this crises" That's right old man, blame the poor and minorities for all that ails the economy, you simple old fart.

"It's the American Dream to be rich?!?!"

"You want to spread the wealth around!" It's about time, I'd say--spread it around a little.

"JOE THE PLUMBER told me this story." Who the fuck is Joe the Plumber? How much does he make, HOW MUCH DOES HE PAY IN TAXES? what does he pay his workers, are they legal or illegal? Does Joe provide health insurance? How many employees does Joe the Plumber have?

Maybe great wealth is like organic fertilizer and needs to be spread around, just a thought.

"Nuclear Power plants, Nuclear power, Nuclear power, 45 Nuclear power plants!!!"

FORTY FIVE!!! Whoa old man, Not in my neighborhood! Does anybody remember THREE MILE ISLAND???? Do you want the nuclear waste buried in your back yard? I don't want it in mine. The French are trying to bury it in Utah and we don't want their waste, how about you?

"Drill, Drill, Drill off shore now!" And in the next breath he says he wants a "SPENDING FREEZE?" ARE YOU CRAZY?

I WILL...! I CAN FIX....! I HAVE THE EXPERIENCE...! I DISAGREED...! I, I, I, ME, ME, ME," I'm waiting for the chest thumping and the Tarzan jungle yell.

"JOHN LEWIS SAID MEAN, SCURRILOUS THINGS ABOUT ME AND MY GIRL! MAKE HIM TAKE IT BACK!"
Oh shut up. John Lewis said the tone of your rallies reminds him of the bad old days of race hatred.

IT'S NOT FAIR, HE'S GOT MORE MONEY THAT I DO TO RUN NEGATIVE CAMPAIGN ADS!
Oh shut up you old fart! You're starting to make me physically ill, I may puke soon.

"JOE THE PLUMBER, JOE THE PLUMBER, JOE THE PLUMBER!" Will Joe the Plumber please step forward?

"SARAH MY PARTNER, SARAH MY PARTNER, SARAH MY PARTNER!" Oh shut up, and get a room you two.

"DRILL OFF SHORE," "I AM A FREE TRADER!" "WE SHOULD BE HELPING COLUMBIA!!" HE HASN'T TRAVELED TO COLUMBIA" HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND! I UNDERSTAND!"

"Well John, I do understand... How about free trade with Peru, a country that treats their workers fairly?"

"WELL, WILLIAM AYERS! AYERS! AYERS.!

Here's where the evening got interesting. Obama runs through his "relationship with Ayres once again. Does anyone remember the Primary? It was investigated and vetted and explained into obsurdity, but Obama calmly lays it out again. The Annenbergs, who are REPUBLICANS!!! and most of the rest of the Board of Director's of the foundation are big name REPUBLICANS!!!
Then he sucker punches the old white man, and named his advisers and probably some of his cabinet--Buffet, Vogel, Biden, Leugar, General Jim Jones. Take that you stupid grumpy old man!

And on the issue of Choice, John McCain makes light of the idea that the life of the woman is important, not that big a deal, unimportant???!!! Oh no he didn't!!! You old bastard, it should be the most important aspect of a woman's right to make her own decisions in consultation with her doctor regarding her reproductive decisions. Keep the government's prurient eyes off my friends daughter's uterus! No one is going to force any woman to get an abortion. If a woman chooses to lose her own life so that her baby can be born, that's her business. But if my friend's daughter chooses to be childless, and she gets pregnant no matter why or how, it's her legal right to terminate that pregnancy. It does not effect you. It isn't your business. No, you can't look at her most intimate parts like a horny gynecologist and declare that the life of the zygote is sacred, and the pregnant woman is merely its disposable house.

Can we just round up all the angry old white racist paternalistic bastards and send them to Colombia? It could be the new Florida.

4 comments:

Liberality said...

What an excellent rant Utah. You nailed it!

No, you can't look at her most intimate parts like a horny gynecologist and declare that the life of the zygote is sacred, and the pregnant woman is merely it's disposable house.

It's obvious that he thinks women are disposable. You are so right.

Randal Graves said...

Hell, the only reason he hasn't dumped C-word is all that loot. John McCain is a Man®, in all the shitty senses of the term.

But utah, not Colombia, Venezuela. I want to see them live under Hugo Chavez 'cause I think that would be comical.

DCup said...

Americans according to McCain:

Selfish, stingy, wasteful, greedy.

American women according to McCain:

Unable to make important decisions for themselves.

Great coverage of the event, Utah!

rdl said...

Great, great post!!