Sunday, June 26, 2011

Who's The Father?

An old voice talent I once dated for a moment called me the other night and I said, "Who's this?" He said, "Peggy, don't you recognize my voice?"
"No. Should I?"
"It's Scott?"
"Scott who?" I was kidding by then. (He'd driven by my back gate early in the spring and I was out in my grubbies wrestling with the overgrown garden, my hair gone as wild as the yard. He stopped his car. Oh no. Not good.
I said, "My eyes are bad. I can't hear you. I have company coming." Anyone could look at me and see this was a lie.  I actually waved him on.  As if we didn't speak the same language. And in a way we didn't. He's a really old man. I'm just an old womam.)
"I had a dream about you."
"Really.  What sort of dream?"
"I was living in a big house and you came to my door in the middle of the night. You woke me up.  I came to the door and you looked awful.  I said Peggy, you look awful.  What happened to you?  You said, "I'm pregnant."  Then the phone rang.  I answered it.  It was our agent.  I told her you were pregnant. She asked me to ask you one question."
"What was it, you tactless bastard?"
"Who's the father?"

17 comments:

Lisa said...

I love it that you toyed with him.

Utah Savage said...

I'm a terrible person. I love that my agent knows me well enough that even in his dreams she'd ask, "Who is the father?"

Utah Savage said...

Great new avatar by the way.

Lisa said...

Thanks, Utah. You crack me up.

jazzolog said...

Good question! We have a HUGE father problem in this culture.

jazzolog said...

Good question! We have a HUGE father problem in this culture.

Beach Bum said...

He said, "Peggy, don't you recognize my voice?"

I have a very hard time recogizing people's voices over the phone. It causes some issues but then again it easy to hang up on people I really don't feel like talking with.

Utah Savage said...

I don't recognize any but the voices I hear every day, so I insist people identify themselves. To some people that's so insulting. Fuck em'.

Paul C said...

Jazzolog,

We have a largish "father problem" in our culture too.

BTW- (And sorry if this is not relevant) but at least twice when I have been unwell with a bipolar illness I have for a month or so been convinced I am a bastard and my real father is someone unknown to me; and the man who is my father is not my father.

I don't know why that has been one of my delusions when unwell.

Utah, it would not hurt my feelings at all if you deleted this probably weird and irrelevant comment.

PS- one of my brothers, here in Oz, who never comments here, enjoys your blog as much as I do.

Utah Savage said...

Paul, as unfaithfully as I've been writing lately I'm thrilled anyone reads my blog anymore. I've always been thrilled to find a comment on or off topic unless it's of the trollish kind which I just delete. Conversation is welcome. I understand bipolarity. I glad your mates like my blog.

The Blog Fodder said...

Glad to see you back and in form. Hope you will continue.
Reminds me of the world's shortest short story containing sex, mystery and religion"
"Good God, I'm pregnant. Wonder who the father is?"

Utah Savage said...

That's a lovely compliment!

Paul C said...

Thanks, Utah.

I am now in a relationship with a woman who is 36 and has had severe bipolar since she was about 27 or 28. She was had ECT (Shock treatment) three times; and more than several serious suicide attempts; her depression can at times be "treatment resistant" to bipolar meds, hence the ECT etc.

Melanie has a honours BA in visual arts; and has written a thesis on something to do with art/computers etc. Since graduation her art work has earned her $$.

Far more important is that she is a beautiful person and I love her.

Mel was married to an abusive %$@*&% from 20 to 35. She was 3 kids to this "man". The marriage has ended but the legal custody stuff with the children has yet to be resolved. Mel has it in writing from a top psychiatrist that in his opinion the very number one thing she can do for her mental health is to leave her abusive husband (who is now her ex-husband). Her ex-husband is going to say through his lawyer that Mel's bipolar illness makes her unfit to be in any significant way a mother to her children. Also, I fear this abusive piece of shit's lawyer could use the fact (if he found out) that Mel is now in a relationship with me (on paper: a bipolar/episodic bipolar-schizoaffective alcoholic, who has been in prison) against Mel in family court when the custody/access to the 3 children matter is resolved. So we are keeping things VERY low profile. I have not moved into the house she now shares with her brother even though Mel asked me to last week. I said to Mel: just wait till the family court stuff is completed and then if we still feel the same way about each other this time next year, how about we get married? Mel, said "yes".

I will not keep raving on about a real life "bipolar love story" but when I see Mel tomorrow I am going to introduce her to your blog and another blog, "sobriety bites" by "Anne", who also has bipolar.

PS- Thanks, Peggy, for your kind words to me in your occasional emails and comments on my blog.

PSPS- Have you ever heard from "Anita" ("Anitaxanaxnow") at all lately? Remember her?

Sorry, I never planned to write so much...... This probably should have been an email than a blog comment but I am too tired to write it out again so I'll just press "publish your comment".......thanks, again.

Utah Savage said...

Paul, in answer to you question in the PSPS it's YES!

nomemories. said...

Your blog is very good and fantastic. ; )))

Ka & Ki

gfid said...

bin out of the loop mesel' lately, but trying to reclaim some kind of life. miss my blog friends, so virtual must be part of the life i need to reclaim. "who's the father?" perhaps there is only a mother. pregnancy isn't always that physical, mammalian thing. we conceive, carry and birth creative things as well. in that sense, i'd say you're definitely pregnant. others, like the war mongers, are pregnant with destruction, birthing huge litters of it like rabbits. they're pregnant too, with no mother.

Spadoman said...

Thought I'd wander over here and see what you've been talking about. I have been lax with my visits to blogs, I apologize.
If I may be so bold and with all due respect, I'd love to have a dream about you. I'd love to have a dream with a woman in it! I'd love to have a dream that doesn't make me wake up feeling like a pile of dog crap!
There, now I feel better.
Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream, make her the cutest that I've ever seen......


I wish you peace