Saturday, January 1, 2011

Texas TeaParty Socialist-Free Purity Pledge

(This was given to me by my doctor on my last visit.  Shocking to many will be the idea that a doctor might not be a GOPer.  Live and learn).

I____________, do solemnly swear to uphold the principles of a socialism-free society and heretofore pledge my word that I shall strictly adhere to the following:

I will complain about the destruction of the 1st Amendment Rights in this country, while I am duly being allowed to exercise my 1st Amendment Rights.

I will complain about the destruction of my 2nd Amendment Rights in this country, while I am duly being allowed to exercise my 2nd Amendment Rights by legally, but brazenly, brandishing unconcealed firearms in public.

I will forswear the time-honored principles of fairness, decency, and respect by screaming unintelligible platitudes regarding tyranny, Nazi-ism, and socialism at public town halls.  Also:

I pledge to eliminate all government intervention in my life.  I will abstain from the use of and participation in any socialist goods and services including but not limited to the following:

*     Social Security
*     Medicare/Medicaid
*     State Children's Health Insurance Programs (SCHIP)
*     US Postal Service
*     Roads and Highways
*     Air Travel (regulated by the socialist FAA)
*     The US Railway System
*     Public Subways and Metro Systems
*     Public Bus and Light-rail Systems
*    Rest Areas on Highways
*    All Government-Funded Local/State Projects (e.g. see Iowa 2009 federal senate appropriations--  http//grassley.senate.gov/issues/upload/Master-Approps-73109.pdf) Public Water and Sewer Services (goodbye socialist toilet, shower, dishwasher, kitchen sink, outdoor hose!)

*     Public and State Universities and Colleges
*     Public Primary and Secondary Schools
*     Sesame Street
*     Publicly Funded Anti-Drug Use Education for Children
*     Public Museums
*     Libraries
*     Public Parks and Beaches
*     State and National Parks
*     Public Zoos
*     Unemployment Insurance
*     Municipal Garbage and Recycling Services
*     Treatment at Any Hospital or Clinic That Ever Received Funding From Local, State or Federal
      Government (pretty much all of them)
*     Medical Services and Medications That Were Created or Derived From Any Government Grant
      or Research Funding (again, pretty much all of them)
*    Socialist Byproducts of Government Investment Such as Duct Tape and Velcro (Nazi-NASA
      Inventions)
*     Use of the Internets, email, and networked computers, as the DoD's ARPENET was the basis for
       subsequent computer networking.
*     Foodstuffs, Meats, Produce, and Crops that were grown with, fed with, raised with, or that
       contain inputs from crops grown with Government Subsidies.
*     Clothing made from Crops (e.g. Cotton) that were grown with or that contain inputs from
       Government Subsidies.
 *   If a veteran of the government-run socialist US military, I will forgo my VA benefits and insist
     on  paying for my own medical care

I will not tour socialist government buildings like the Capital in Washington, D.C,

I pledge to never take myself, my family, or my children on a tour of the following types of socialist locations, including but not limited to:

*   Smithsonian Museums such as the Air and Space Museum or Museum of American History
*   The socialist Washington, Lincoln, and Jefferson Monuments.
*   The government operated Statue of Liberty
*   The Grand Canyon
*   The socialist World War II and Vietnam Veterans Memorials'
*   The government-run socialist-propaganda location know as Arlington National Cemetery
*   All other public-funded socialist sites, whether in my state or in Washington, D.C.

I will urge my Member of Congress and Senators to forgo their government salary and government-provided healthcare.

I will oppose and condemn the government-funded, and therefore, socialist military of the United States of America.

I will boycott the products of socialist defense contractors such as GE, Lockheed-Martin, Boeing, Northrop Grumman, General Dynamics, Raytheon, Humana, FedEx, General Motors, Honeywell, and hundreds of other that are paid by our socialist government to produce goods for our socialist army.

I will protest socialist security departments such as the Pentagon, FBI, CIA, Department of Homeland Security, TSA, Department of Justice and their socialist employees.

Upon reaching eligible retirement age, I will tear up my socialist Social Security checks.

Upon reaching age 65, I will forgo Medicare and pay for my own private health insurance until I die.

SWORN ON A BIBLE AND SIGNED THIS DAY OF______________ IN THE YEAR______.

____________________                                __________________________
Signed                                                             Printed Name/Town and State

13 comments:

Suzan said...

You know the coolest people!

Congrats.

S

Utah Savage said...

I do don't I. I was telling my friends last night that I interview my medical professions. If we can talk politics I know they'll like me and take me seriously. I'm an active participant in the process of keeping me alive. So getting to be around cool people when I venture out is a big plus, otherwise I'd never leave the cottage.

Happy New Year, Suzan

TRUTH 101 said...

I'm printing this and demanding the goofy tea bagger at work sign up.

What makes this even more ironic is we're government employees at the municipal water plant.

I love government.

Kulkuri said...

This is good. I may or may not steal it to repost. I know some who should sign this pledge!!

Utah Savage said...

Please, steal away, repost far and wide, this is what they claim to want. Make them defend their claim.

Gwendolyn H. Barry said...

gee. that's a good 'un.

a larger reality check, eh?
ta Utah... nice post!

TheCunningRunt said...

This is Bringin' It On, U.S. - I'm all for rubbing their faces in the fecal swamp of their stupidity.

Tea Baggers are only opposed to "socialism" when it requires them to give back to the system which sustains them.

Bravo for sharing this, Sister!

Lisa said...

I love this!

I was just mumbling to MathMan today that at the end of every year, each American tax payer should receive an itemized bill showing the cost of each government service or tax-funded service, product or system. Let Americans see how much they actually get for what they pay. It could also show what is being in reserve for them based on what they can expect to receive from Social Security and Medicare.

I think people would be surprised at what they get for the money they actually pay in taxes.

Not that it would change any minds, of course.

Utah Savage said...

I beg you all to take this and put it to your own use. I'm glad you like it. When my doctor passed it to me at the end of our last visit, I was amazed at how thorough it was. Still, I'm sure there are services and goods that have been left out. Feel free to embellish.

Lulu Maude said...

Splendid! Thanks for posting.

Lulu Maude said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lulu Maude said...

Splendid! Thanks for posting.

Dragonscrone said...

Wonderful. Thanks