Friday, July 11, 2008

Acting Crazy

Many of you will be too young (or claim you are) to have heard of Little Feat, But back in the day, before most of you kids were born, no not you, you're nearly as old as I. Don't look around, pretending I'm not talking to you--but you kids, the ones of you in your forties, probably don't remember Little Feat. First incarnation began in 1969, and the live recording that Old Folks Boogie comes from is called, Waiting for Columbus, and was performed in 1977 at the Rainbow Theatre in London. They're categorized as Blues/Rock/Country. Most of you will probably hear this as country and hate it. But I listen to your music, and pretend to like it. Oh hell, I did tell you the truth about that, didn't I? Damn. If you aren't going to listen, then I'm going to make you read some of the lyrics, because they speak to me of the situation I find myself in these days.

"Off our rockers, acting crazy, and with the right medication we won't be lazy"

(Now you're starting to understand what I'm talking about?)

"Old folks boogie, boogie they will
Cut you up, 'cause it's as good as a thrill"

The point I'm trying to make, is that whether you're bipolar or just old and crazy, sometimes you just can't help being impatient and cruel. You don't even know your doing it. I'm not talking about you fairlane. You just seem to get off on it. Me, I can't help myself. I've got an excuse.

And, as always, just when I'm wanting it, here comes ghost with this: Willin'

For Stella, and K, And Mary Ellen

Stella at Swiftspeech
K at the iKoniclast
Mary Ellen at the Divine Democrat

I apologize to you all for not really listening, for insulting you and for being a really bad hostess. I can only claim craziness. I have talked about this before, but I am bipolar. Yesterday I had my regularly scheduled visit with my Psychiatrist. I'm now on a new antidepressant. Maybe I'll get nicer, more patient, and better at listening. I hope you will not hold a grudge. I didn't mean to be rude, but I was rude. I didn't mean to be insulting, but I was insulting. I didn't mean to not hear you, but I didn't hear you. And as an old crazy, woman who has locked herself up with a new computer and few visitors, I didn't mean to be a bad hostess, but I was--I never have much opportunity to be a hostess in the real world, and so my hostess chops are rusty and need to be upgraded. I'll work on that.

To k, I wish to apologize for not recognizing the courage of your honesty about your own very personal comment, and why you are justifiably angry with me, and with Senator Obama's position on late-term abortions. Your honesty was breathtaking. It takes real courage to talk about the personal in a public forum. I salute you, especially you. And I am sorry for not recognizing what was happening in my own comments thread.

But mostly I want to say, I'm sorry. I hope you can forgive me.