Friday, December 5, 2008

One of My Recurring Childhood Dreams

It was always the same, this dream. I am a little girl sitting in a kitchen chair. And I notice I have small hole in my arm. It is not bleeding, but I notice a small bone poking out. I touch it and it slides right out of my arm and into my hand. I look at it carefully enough to notice that there is no blood, no meat clings to it. And when I look back at the hole I notice that there is another bone poking out. And so I begin the deboning of myself. In the end I become a blob of boneless flesh. Now I know I'm in trouble. I open my mouth to call for help and my teeth crumble and fall from my mouth. And then I know I am helpless.

I had this dream for several years. Probably from the age of seven to maybe ten or eleven. It is always the same. Exactly the same. No variation at all. Never. Years later when I told my therapist about this dream I didn't like the interpretation. She believed it was a sexual dream about what my daddy did to me. I would say, "But I was alone." She would say, "What does the hole symbolize? What does the bone symbolize?" I would cry. Now I turn it into something of mine. I claim it's power. I give it a bit of form and wonder what you see? What is the hole? What is the bone? Why do the teeth crumble and fall?

There is a small hole in my arm
I pull the bones out one by one
Until I am empty, my fingers limp and
Useless, I open my mouth to call for help
My teeth crumble and fall from my mouth
My head a shapeless blob and now I know
At last that I am helpless, and you will never love me

From the dictionary of dream symbolism

To see bones in your dream, suggests the discovery of your personal, family, or cultural secrets. It is also symbolic of your underlying strengths that you have not yet recognized. Consider the symbolism of getting to the "bare bones" or the significance of "having a bone to pick with someone."

To dream that your teeth is lose, signifies failures and bad news.

To see a hole in the ground, denotes hidden aspects of your activities. On the other hand, it may mean that you are feeling hollow or empty inside. This dream may be an awakening for you in that you need to get out and expose your self to new interests and activities.

To dream that you fall into a hole, signifies a pitfall in a situation in your life or that you are stuck in a hole. Perhaps, you have dug yourself into a hole and can not get out of it.

Thank you Ghost.