Monday, February 2, 2009

I've Gone And Done It Now

I'm now officially entered in the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award contest. I could not have done this without Phillip. Just the technical part of the entry form, all the small details of getting every part of the submission process right would have flummoxed me. For Phillip it was easy, despite the disorganization of my "files"--that may be too generous to me to call what I'm storing files. Phillip is one hell of an editor. Too bad he doesn't want to do it, but then I'm amazed anyone wants to do it, since I'm so bad at it.

My little nervous breakdown is coming. There is the period of extreme stress buildup when a deadline is looming. This chance to publish means a lot to me. It's a long shot I know, but I have one goal, one resolution for this year and it's to get published. It may just be a short story. Maybe a poem. But something. So something is now out there. Odd that it's the pitch I have least interest or skill in writing which is the part that will end up determining whether or not the first three chapters are even read. See how awkward and convoluted that sentence is? Is it even a sentence? Oh god. Now I'm filled with fear. Everything depends on the pitch.

I will now collapse on my fainting couch and weep and carry on. Then I'll vacuum. Then I'll come and visit you.

Kathleen, thank you for telling me about his contest and urging me to enter it. Thank you for helping me with my pitch. So many of you have been helping me, I can't name you all, but in the beginning it was Stella who made me think I just might be a writer. It was Vig who took me seriously enough to correct my grammar and spelling. It was Lisa and Lib, Linda and Diva, Naj and Freida. Then it was my friend Susu who read and left me email comments, and the notes of a good copy editor. Then it was LeeAnn who left me emailed notes of an editorial nature, and Larry for a million reasons. God bless the editor in every one of you. I was amazed how many of you read the book and left helpful and encouraging comments. There are so many men who read and left touching and thoughtful comments. I'm talking about you Unconventional Conventionist and you Randal, and you Beach, and you Steve, and you MRMacrum. I'm sure I'm leaving some of you out. I know I am. But I so exhausted I'm shaking. My fingers are jumpy. I've got the jitters.

And you Cal. You, who finished reading just as I took it off the blog. It has been ruthlessly edited--four chapters cut, chunks here and there, the occasional word like "that." Thanks again Phillip for pointing "that" out to me.

Don't feel bad if I haven't mentioned your help.