Thursday, December 25, 2008

Kelso's Nuts Have Asked Me To Out Myself

I'm only too happy to comply, only I thought I did that yesterday or the day before--I'll have to look. I certainly outed myself for the entertainment of the old folks at Group Therapy on the 23rd, but Christmas seems like as good a day as any, and I never plan to get any hot male action again, so why not? I'm out.

Kelso's Nuts suggest that we all out ourselves in protest over Rev(sic) Rick Warren's appearance at the Inauguration. Fine with me. I'm not thrilled about Rick Warren getting so much free press, because I don't like what he stands for--the homophobia, the suppression of women with his anti choice (wide) stance, he's just like all the rest of them, and I'm thinking he might be a little gay himself. So, yea, I'm gay. Gay all the way.

Come out, come out, where ever you are. Speak up. Let's have a day or several of solidarity. Doesn't matter whether you're married or not. Think of yourselves as two gay people making the best of it. What'll the kids think? I don't know. They'll probably hate it. But you can explain it's for a good cause. It's in support of all our gay friends and neighbors, our gay relatives though closeted they too may be. There's a little gay in all of us, as well as a little woman living inside all you men. Yes there is. So, come out!


anita said...

No. I defer to Frieda of the Bees on this one.

Utah Savage said...

It's just pretend. It's just a protest like we used to have in the 60's, only we don't have to leave home to do it. But I'll be Kelso is soon to pay you a visit anyway so... Good luck keeping a Straight Face.

Utah Savage said...

That was supposed to be "I'll bet," not "I'll be."

anita said...


With absolutely all due respect to you and ALL apologies to Ms. Bee for bringing her into a potential fray, she absolutely stated something in this regard that captured my own feeling and therefore I am going to quote Ms. Bee (without her permission, of course I'm taking extreme liberties here):

" ... but I do feel that what is meant to be a sympathetic gesture can only be done with an accompanying assumption of male privilege ..."

that about sums it up for me.

anita said...

and let me say also, that i AM quoting ms. bee out of context and she has every right to beat me up.

Utah Savage said...

I'll try and send her over. She might be mad at me as well, since I haven't been visited by Ms Bee for awhile.

Life As I Know It Now said...

Just stopped by today to tell you Merry Christmas you Savage Lady you!

Dave Dubya said...

Here's to all of us gays, outlaws, hippies, artists, rebels, and politically incorrect free thinkers who would never suffer the constraints of being molded into the conformist herd of right wing American sheeple.

Our tribe will always shine the light and reflect the colors, in contrast to the dark, gray, black and white facade of the "straight" world.

Have a happy new year.

Utah Savage said...

Yea, one speaks in solidarity! Bravo Dave Dubya! Good on ya! We shall over come somedayay. Sing it with me. Sing out Louise!

Utah Savage said...

Next we have New Years Eve and Day and then we have Savage Blogiversary! Then it's the Inauguration of President Obama. It's going to be a wonderful new year no matter how hard the times to come. Drink up dears. Where's Fairlane these days, I almost said Drink Up Bitches, but thought he might just track me down and whupp my ass.

Anonymous said...

Happy Savage Blagojvitchersery!


Anonymous said...

Hey, Utah. I get what you're saying about solidarity.

I'll be remaining on the fence, true to my own nature. I'm guessing you won't be surprised. Actually, I'm already in the fray as a bisexual, aren't I?

Commander Zaius said...

I second everything Dave Dubya said. Merry Christmas to you Utah and everyone else.

Linda-Sama said...

"Here's to all of us gays, outlaws, hippies, artists, rebels, and politically incorrect free thinkers who would never suffer the constraints of being molded into the conformist herd of right wing American sheeple."

sign me up, sis....

KELSO'S NUTS said...

UTAH: Follow your own conscience...I think it's a good idea and hell yes there's a little gay in all straight guys. But Anita's a purist who's got something of an axe to grind with me just for fun as we've done for years on these things. If she can ratfuck me a bit, she will. I take it in good fun.

But one thing I've learned in a lifetime in the money trade it's to always have Plans B, C and D at the ready. I'm both Jewish and an atheist, two "identity" groups that rank just below (above) THE GAY on Rick Warren's enemies list.

Anita is a Gentile believer, so maybe she'd be shaky if the barricades went up. Who knows? I know Obama as a rule is preferring Gentile believers to Jewish atheists, and he hates him some gamblers and is none too fond of Panamanian privacy, neutrality, bank and tax law, so maybe my "victim identity" is the purer. Maybe not. It's at best a coin-toss.

But that was cool what you did. Every little bit helps especially in the adult blogging community.

Me? I've shown Plans A, B and a little of C over at Freida's. But I got a D and E, as well.

It would be very hard to ratfuck me on this one.

yellowdoggranny said...

I've always said I was straight but not narrow, but for the occasion I will come and and be long as you promise I won't have to watch mama mia again...oh sweet goddess, that movie sucked.

anita said...

Millions of people joined in solidarity in the civil rights movement of the 1960's: gentile, jew, atheist, muslim, white, asian, gay, straight, green, blue and purple.

People who were not black did not say, "hey, I'm black." Because they weren't and if they did they'd be perceived condescending and more. Non-blacks did not need to "come out" as "black" to be wholeheartedly in support of that movement.

I see this "I'm Gay" thing as totally weird and totally condescending.

Kelso goes into viscious, ugly attack mode every single time I disagree with him. I thought it was just me, but then I saw it begin to happen with Frieda and I realized it wasn't just me, it seems to be an issue he has with women in general. Freida, of course has a friend at Kelso's site and he was careful to not go too far with his attacks on her. But when it comes to me, it's open season at its very worst and he knows that he's got far more friends in the blogosphere than I do and they will also stick with him out of "solidarity."

I really don't give a fuck any more.

KELSO'S NUTS said... brother and sister we are

Freida Bee said...

Mama Mia (sorry Yollowdog), I don't know if I've ever been quoted before except by my kids and partner in attempts to twist my words against me. No prob, Anita.

Utah- If I have not revealed this, then I shall here. I am a minister. I am a minister of The Universal Life Church and our only tenet is something like, "One's only obligation is for one to do what he or she feels is right and only that person can know for him or herself what that is." That is my religious view in a nutshell, so Utah, I support you and Kelso in doing whatever you believe is the right thing to do.

It is, however, not something I feel called to do. I wrote more than an ample amount on this over at Dis Brimstone, but happened to watch Tropic Thunder (oh, gawd, I loved that movie) yesterday, and what Anita wrote reminded me of what Robert Downey, Jr.'s character did in that movie. He was lamenting his (their) black heritage with his African American brother and to that person's dismay.

I can't say, I find it to be as offensive as that movie scene was no doubt meant to be, but think they were exaggerating a similar idea.

Being bi and questioning whether I am les or not right now gives me both a privilege and the opposite of privilege in the whole gay debate. For one thing, I can side with either as convenience suits me. On the other hand, I don't really fit into either gay or straight categorizations. I think it's there where it bothers me.

I have for years felt I don't rightly belong in the gay community due to my hetero activities and then here you guys feel you can come jump in there with full acceptance just like that.

Bully for you. It's just not for me.

All that being said. Utah, I'm glad you're coming out, because it will make it easier for me to continue e-seduce you.

Much love.

Maybe, I'll write a post here soon and be political for a change and write of this.

For now, I am at my inlaws.

Lament my suffering.

They are so gonna hate me for leaving their son for the lesbian lover I yearn for. They would have also been mortified to walk in on the blow job I gave their son in their guest bed this morning.

I can't win for losing, but I also can't lose for winning.

Don't quote me on that, 'cause I don't know what the fuck it means.

Love, Fred of the Bush

Utah Savage said...

Oh Fred of the Bush, how I love you.

Anita, Kelso has backed me into a corner a time or two and I know how it feels.

But I so enjoyed coming out in group "therapy" as a political statement. They make the assumption that we are all Mormon and straight, and it just pushed my gay button. It felt good to make that political statement, that now I'm all on board the gay statement train, so to speak. I have a gay friend who reads my blog now and then. We had talked on the phone before my group "therapy" and I told him if they did their usual mealy mouthed shit on me, I'd out myself just to be contrary--I know that isn't what you're supposed to do in group, I know it's not a game, but still, old Mormons are so intolerably smug and secure in their assumptions about the rest of us that I just couldn't help myself.

When Kelso, who, by the way, hasn't been talking to me lately, suggested that I come out for the Inauguration, I thought "What a good idea." I had no idea this would be controversial, or that anyone would object. How fucking naive is that!

By the way, my gay friend called me after I posted about coming out in group and said, "I just knew your were going to do that!" He didn't seem to mind that I was fake outing myself. So who would really care? No one can look at any of us and say whether or not we're gay, as they could if we were claiming to be black, for instance. I might very well have enough drops of black DNA from my family's past fucking around in the South, that in the olden days, I'd have been called an Octoroon, or some such bullshit, but I'd never get away with calling myself black. But who's to say whether I'm gay or not, not that I'm all but sexless? I could be a man in a wig with falsies on.

anita said...
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