Monday, June 29, 2009

Cancelled Dinner Plans

Z just called to tell me she just wants to be alone. She's so tired. I have no doubt. What I wanted to do, and will still do if given permission, is to take food to her. I would prepare well balanced, organic, vegetarian meals for her and deliver them. I could cook a couple of days meals and deliver them every other day. But she says she has cottage cheese and an avocado. That's a snack to me, not a meal. She ate her well balanced and hearty vegetarian three square meals a day at the hospital with relish. How am I going to get her to eat? I have gone over her dietary restrictions and don't find anything in the food plan the hospital sent home with her that would be a problem for me. I make myself hungry just planning imaginary meals for her. Will she let me feed her? She's always loved my cooking or so she says, and so it seems, when she's here eating. I will have to figure this out and fast.


La Belette Rouge said...

Oh, honey!!!You can't get her to eat.You can offer. But she can say no I so know what you are going through. I really do. Your nurturing impulse is so loving, generous and incredible. You are a wonderful friend.

jmsjoin said...

Hi Utah
I'm sorry, it pisses me off! How long has Z not eaten? What has the Doctor said about her prognosis? I have seen this too many times. Find out her absolute pleasure food or not and give her as much as she wants!

giggles said...

I just got a call today from my best friend in the political world.... I would move earth and sky for her. She asked if I could take her to the hospital for some tests..... She's had trouble with bloating and other symptoms she didn't mention...all classic signs of ovarian cancer.... She is a breast cancer survivor and in the midst of trying to get her house ready to sell because her husband, after getting laid off from one job (long time with big company taken over by bigger company..he is a brilliant chemist) has already found a new one, a couple of hours away....
In my blissful ignorance, I am hoping it is just stress...she has gone down a much darker road....

I can only hope to be as good a friend as you are for Z.

susan said...

I've been reading through your Z posts with great sorrow for what both of you are going through. The most important thing when a person is ill is finding the will to live but in order to do that a reason to continue is essential. You are a fine and wonderful friend to Z and through you many of us have grown to know and love her. I send you both my very heartfelt wishes that your friendship can continue for many years to come.

Steve said...

i dont know what to say except you know that you and Z are in my thoughts

anita said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Fran said...

I find just having those little pre made meals in a box in the fridge ready to go might just be the way to go. She's going through a lot & may feel yucky enough to not want to eat, but if a moment comes where she feels a bit hungry.... something quick, easy & no fuss can be lovely. She probably does not want people to fuss over her.
Maybe she can also have a non perishable stash of healthy nibbles.... organic power bars, or trail mix or whatever is appropriate.... so if she feels hungry, but too weak to go upstairs or ask for anything.... it will just be there.
Or leave a few pieces of fresh fruit.
Just a little food magic..... just leaving these things here if you want them. Or just do it & say nothing.
Magic fruit bowl!
More of that friend magic you seem to be sooo good at.
She probably wishes she had the strength to do it all independently, and does not want to be a burden or bother & finds it frustrating.
Maybe too just a short /passing window where she feels like even thinking of eating.
Just leaving it there gives her the feeling of independence. Maybe she wants a snack @ 2 AM.
No problem. Get her covered!